oh man. it's been a busy few days and i've been loving every second of it.
you know that feeling when you work out really hard after a long hiatus? and by long we're talking MONTHS? well, i felt that last night and it was amazing. ultimate frisbee is one of my favorite workouts and i got to play for about two hours last night. my lungs had that amazing cold temperature feeling after you've been running for awhile. so great. but i'm ridiculously sore today. training at the Restaurant is a lot of sitting down, and when i would get up for something--MAN. pain.
but today at The Restaurant i got to do some following, and i followed my good friend D. it was great to finally see how everything works together in concert, but man D walks fast. i had trouble keeping up with that man. i really think i'm going to enjoy The Restaurant. the management seems cool, the servers have been fun and i'm actually developing a rapport with my fellow trainees.
other than that, i'm off to move things around in the house i'll be living in. wish me luck!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Napping
Things with SW have taken a strange turn lately. I don't know what it is, but my emotions are just all over the place lately. I think it has to do with insecurities, anxiety about the future paired with the intense desire to marry him paired with the uncertainty about whether or not he'll choose me. Talk about an emotional grab bag. No wonder I'm all over the place.
Last night was terrible. I spent about two hours trying to sort through the much in my head--some of it on the phone with SW. And, note to self, do NOT under any circumstances give in to the temptation to call him super late at night with confusing and frustrating relationship troubles. Ugh. Needless to say, that only made me feel worse and succeeded in aggravating him. So we made plans to hang out this afternoon after work and talk. Yet, I just didn't feel like talking about it and instead, we took a nap, which was nice.
It's hard to swallow the fact that I feel like I relate to my boyfriend best when we're sleeping. It's not that we can't relate to each other verbally. We CAN, and I think that's what makes this more frustrating. Something is keeping our communication apart right now and I just can't find out what it is. I just really need to trust that we will move past this.
Last night was terrible. I spent about two hours trying to sort through the much in my head--some of it on the phone with SW. And, note to self, do NOT under any circumstances give in to the temptation to call him super late at night with confusing and frustrating relationship troubles. Ugh. Needless to say, that only made me feel worse and succeeded in aggravating him. So we made plans to hang out this afternoon after work and talk. Yet, I just didn't feel like talking about it and instead, we took a nap, which was nice.
It's hard to swallow the fact that I feel like I relate to my boyfriend best when we're sleeping. It's not that we can't relate to each other verbally. We CAN, and I think that's what makes this more frustrating. Something is keeping our communication apart right now and I just can't find out what it is. I just really need to trust that we will move past this.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Summer
Today is like the first real day of summer. It's gorgeous, yet not too hot outside, the breeze feels amazing blowing through my windows, I can lounge around in a tank top on my bed and listen to some guilty pleasure music while writing this, and work was only 3 hours long this morning.
As for work, I recently started working at a well-known restaurant chain and apparently if I write the name or the names of any of my coworkers or managers I could get disciplined for it. And I would think this was stupid if it weren't for the fact that one of my favorite bloggers, Dooce, really did lose her job because she was not careful with information. SO. This restaurant will always be The Restaurant and, as usual, any names will remain initials only.
So then, orientation at The Restaurant was pretty fun today, but, then again, I always love orientations. It's super easy--how hard can it be to fill out forms and watch videos?--and you get lots of free food. And this was good food that I would choose to eat whether I worked there or not. Totally sweet deal. My friend D got me the job and another friend of mine, Tall B, works there as well. Tall B and I actually went through orientation together this morning, both as servers. I'm hoping that I can actually get to know him without feeling weird, because he reminds me very strongly of an old boyfriend whom I no longer like or respect. But I know Tall B is not that person. So we'll hope that I can work with Tall B without the urge to make disparaging remarks every time I see him.
SW and I haven't been on the greatest terms lately. And I don't know why. It's eating at my heart and I feel really helpless in it. And, in a way, I really am, for many of the barriers between us have nothing to do with me. He's struggling with a LOT right now and he needs to overcome these struggles in his own way. I can't tangibly help--I can only be there for him. I just wish I know how he wanted me to be there.
I called my parents this afternoon as well and they only talked to me for 13 minutes--5 minutes for my dad and 8 for my mom. Usually I forget to even call my parents, but I really wanted to talk to them today. I was actually really sad that they didn't stay on the phone longer. I do think I'll get to talk to my sister tomorrow, though, and hopefully me being a server now will provide even more connection between the two of us.
Anyway, my music makes me happy. I'm listening to--don't laugh--the soundtrack for Series 3 of Doctor Who. If you know what's good for you, you'll start watching the BBC's new Doctor Who, because it just might be talked about a lot by me. I've got my roommates hooked now and I'm moving out slowly to new people . . .
As for work, I recently started working at a well-known restaurant chain and apparently if I write the name or the names of any of my coworkers or managers I could get disciplined for it. And I would think this was stupid if it weren't for the fact that one of my favorite bloggers, Dooce, really did lose her job because she was not careful with information. SO. This restaurant will always be The Restaurant and, as usual, any names will remain initials only.
So then, orientation at The Restaurant was pretty fun today, but, then again, I always love orientations. It's super easy--how hard can it be to fill out forms and watch videos?--and you get lots of free food. And this was good food that I would choose to eat whether I worked there or not. Totally sweet deal. My friend D got me the job and another friend of mine, Tall B, works there as well. Tall B and I actually went through orientation together this morning, both as servers. I'm hoping that I can actually get to know him without feeling weird, because he reminds me very strongly of an old boyfriend whom I no longer like or respect. But I know Tall B is not that person. So we'll hope that I can work with Tall B without the urge to make disparaging remarks every time I see him.
SW and I haven't been on the greatest terms lately. And I don't know why. It's eating at my heart and I feel really helpless in it. And, in a way, I really am, for many of the barriers between us have nothing to do with me. He's struggling with a LOT right now and he needs to overcome these struggles in his own way. I can't tangibly help--I can only be there for him. I just wish I know how he wanted me to be there.
I called my parents this afternoon as well and they only talked to me for 13 minutes--5 minutes for my dad and 8 for my mom. Usually I forget to even call my parents, but I really wanted to talk to them today. I was actually really sad that they didn't stay on the phone longer. I do think I'll get to talk to my sister tomorrow, though, and hopefully me being a server now will provide even more connection between the two of us.
Anyway, my music makes me happy. I'm listening to--don't laugh--the soundtrack for Series 3 of Doctor Who. If you know what's good for you, you'll start watching the BBC's new Doctor Who, because it just might be talked about a lot by me. I've got my roommates hooked now and I'm moving out slowly to new people . . .
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