Wherein I display my true colors (with a timeline!)

I've been doing some soul-searching lately. Not the serious kind, mind you, just the kind that prompts one to take a step back from oneself and ask, "Is this who I truly am?"

You see, I don't often think about it, but I was raised by two people who dearly loved science fiction and fantasy, picking apart films, and not apologizing for it.

Oh yes, you see where this is going now. Be prepared.

And now that I've just said that I can see Scar looming over a canyon full of dancing hyenas. Awesome. I'm going to go listen to the Lion King soundtrack real fast. Hold on.

And I'm back. And I'm not kidding. I'm seriously listening to Jeremy Irons try to sing. And I'm helping him.

Anyway, the way I was raised naturally instilled a few natural tendencies in me. I remember spending the entire summer of my 10th year locked in my bedroom devouring my parents' novels about people who ride fantastical dragons on a planet named Pern. My parents had to throw my outside for an hour each day. I'd spend that hour poking around, dreaming about riding a gold dragon, and counting down the minutes until I could come back inside and dive back into that world.

Those of you who know me will not find that strange. I have obsessive tendencies. They come in handy when those obsessions line up with my current position in life. For example, my current obsession with being the best English teacher ever lines up perfectly with my current position as an English teacher. Lovely!

But one obsession I've always had has been my love of books, TV shows, and films that treat life in a fantastic way. The dragon books, Star Wars (both books and films), my love of Agatha Christie novels, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Harry Potter world, Pushing Daisies, Spaced, and my ongoing attraction/repulsion relationship with horror films (but excluding torture porn). This obsession has always been in an up and down cycle in my life, often dependent on the people around me.

Here's a rough timeline for you:

 Ages 3-9:
Family time on Sunday nights included watching an hour of Nature on PBS, and then an hour of Star Trek: The Next Generation with a few bowls of popcorn topped with Parmesan cheese.

Age 10: 

Discover the Dragonriders of Pern series. Life is perfect. I vividly remember listening to my very first cassette tape (Alanis Morrisette, Jagged Little Pill-- that's right, I'm not kidding) while reading the first chapter.

Age 10.5:

Discover my parents' stash of Star Wars novels. Devour them all. This marks the beginning of my Star Wars fixation and the decline of Star Trek, sorry Mom and Dad.

Age 12:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer airs for the first time. Instant love. Who knew that TV could ever be so good? My parents buy me a t-shirt. I wear it like it's the coolest thing on the planet. My parents buy Star Wars in the brand new VHS release. I immediately run them into the ground.

Age 14:
High school begins. I realize that no one else likes the things I do. Or, if they do, not to the same extent as myself. I stop wearing my Buffy t-shirt. Much to my shame, I'll admit I also stop watching Buffy on TV.

Ages 14-18:

I begin my quest to know everything about film, cut back a little on the fantasy book reading, and think way too highly of myself. Seminal films for me at this time include A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, Moulin Rouge, Vanilla Sky, and The Matrix.

Age 18:

I go to college and vow to become a cool nerd. This is reinforced when I begin dating a boy who does not share my love for science fiction and fantasy (I should have known it would never work when he refused to watch The Lord of the Rings with me).

Ages 18-24:
Brief moments of shining nerdiness peek through: Attending two midnight releases of two Harry Potter books, debating the suckiness of the Star Wars prequels with friends, mainlining the extended editions of all three LOTR movies and all the commentary tracks (that's 60 hours of movie-watching, in case you weren't aware), and discovering Harlan Ellison. I discover Doctor Who.

Age 25:

The decline and subsequent end of my relationship with that boy prompts a resurgence of nerdom. My friends and I host Doctor Who watch parties for season 5, I attend a Star Wars watching party and debate various weaponry and technology with a friend, I begin my countdown to Inception in January. I discover Firefly.

Then I move to a small town and I live alone. I don't need to hide this nerdiness from anyone. I budget so I can go to ComicCon in the future. I finally see Spaced. My attention settles on successful and talented people in the entertainment business who embraced their inner nerd and it took them far (I'm talking about you, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Edgar Wright, and, of course, Bill Hader).

I realize that I can do this. Nerds truly do inherit the earth.

Or at least, they inherit the earth I care about.

And, on another note, I discovered this artist. His name is James Hance, and his artwork is exactly what I want. I'm going to buy some of his prints and hang them up in my home as my art.

And I don't care what anyone thinks of it!

Too stinkin' cute.

I'm a little late posting this. I saw it last week and thought it was one of the cutest, most genuinely funny things I'd seen in a long time.

Good job, Jenny Slate. If you don't know who she is, she's one of the newer cast members on SNL. It's been taking her awhile to come into her own, but if they'd let her do stuff like this, she'd be a big hit.



Move over Samberg!

An expanding waistband and the Shining Beacon of comedy TV

My first week of school went well. I talked to a good friend of mine who is a fellow teacher (in a different city) and realized how blessed I am. My employers, co-workers and students are wonderful, and I am so blessed to be in this particular place as a first year teacher.

I have a few things to address in this post.

First, I can now understand why I've been warned that all first year teachers gain at least 10 to 15 pounds in that year. It works like this:

1. You're working a LOT. More than other teachers. Why? Because you haven't done this before. You don't have lesson plans to fall back on. You're either creating from scratch, reading brand new books and materials, or figuring out how the general system of your class works.

2. This is very, very stressful, so if you get an extended amount of time at home you end up eating something like two dinners because, hey! Food is comfort, and your hands need something to do while you're sitting in front of the TV trying to cram a little relaxation into your day.

3. And IF, on the other hand, you don't eat as much, guess what? It's still going to happen. Why? Because you truly do not have the energy to cook when you get home. And you do not have the money yet to go out to eat. Then what are your options? Things that are quick and easy. Oh no, you've wandered into the land of frozen pizzas, ramen noodles, cereal for dinner, and (gasp!) macaroni and cheese from the box, none of to which a nutritionist could attach the world "healthy" and keep a straight face--or her job.

Me? I'm finding that I'm on number 3. I don't really have time at home to eat a lot of meals, but number 2 still creeps in there. How? Well, I make a box of macaroni and cheese, but instead of it being multiple servings (as it should), it ends up being my entire meal.

Honestly, my blood pressure and my cholesterol are going to be shot straight to you-know-where if I keep this up.

My goal?

I'm going to start trying to find fast, LOW STRESS, food that I can make in the evenings that will not break the bank OR my waistband.

I know, good luck, right?

OK, enough of the impending doom of my figure. Second item:

I loved Caroline in the City when I was in grade school. Does anyone remember that show? I hope so. It was a less successful (and less good) knockoff of FRIENDS. I loved it because the characters were funny and neurotic, even if they weren't acted very well.

I mean, what did I know as a 10-year-old?

Caroline Duffy is a 30-something cartoonist living in New York. She's successful at her job, beautiful, and much less aware of both those things than you'd think she should be. She is quite neurotic, but we, the audience, find it adorable and endearing, and it usually ends up solving the problem in most episodes. She's technically the boss of the people living around her, who are also misfits in their own way. We love them and laugh at them. Great 90's TV.

Now I love TV shows that are smarter (and actually, I truly believe that TV today can create smart, well-made programs), like The Office, Community, and 30 Rock. Yes, I love more than that, but I'm going to focus on comedies. And if you couldn't tell, these are all Thursday night NBC shows. It's the best place in TV right now (not counting cable).

I was watching one of my current favorite TV shows, the delightful 30 Rock, and realized that Liz Lemon, the main character on this show, is frighteningly similar to Caroline Duffy. Neurotic. 30-something. The boss of others. Speaks with an almost-placeable upper-midwest accent. Attractive, but much less-aware-of-it than you think she should be.

As I was watching this, and it helped that it was mere hours after finally getting to watch my Caroline in the City DVD from Netflix, it hit me.

These two women are the same!

Here's the difference, though, and it's why I love 30 Rock so much:

Whereas Caroline's neuroses are played for cuteness, Liz's simply propel her down an ever-deepening spiral of crazy. And the same goes for the other characters on her show. And I love that.

Unlike most comedies on TV, 30 Rock has yet to play up a "dramedy" moment. You know what I mean. It's that moment in a comedy where you realize the producers are going to take the characters you love and actually try to wring some emotion out of you when they kiss, break up, fight, or learn something.

It's the Jim and Pam moment in the finale of season 2 of The Office.

It's the Britta and Jeff stuff that happened in Community.

It's all that Ross and Rachel stuff in FRIENDS.

And don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy those things on those shows. I'll admit, I freaked out with Jim and Pam. I teared up a few times with Ross and Rachel (and that is embarrassing to say).

But 30 Rock is different. It says, "Look, world. We are not those shows. We are silly, irreverent, and constantly making fun of ourselves. We won't stop, and we won't apologize, so you can either get on our bandwagon or watch something else."

I'm totally on the bandwagon.

If you're looking for a show that is only about laughs, silliness, and some pretty sharp, hidden commentary on media today, that's the show for you.

It made my Saturday wonderful, and will soon begin to make my Thursday nights the same.

Just to keep you informed.

I'm wiped. I guess I'm going to have to get used to that feeling.

It'd be nice to have some materials and lesson plans ready ahead of time, but when I'm planning for five different classes and creating the curriculum for each of them as I go along . . . well, let's just say I'm lucky if I make it day to day. Today I got home around 8:00 and yesterday it was 8:30.

Oh, I simply cannot wait until we have Fridays free. Then I can plan ahead.

But that's not this Friday. That's next week.

Waiting for next week . . .

Maybe I'll be able to give you more at that point.

Because, of course, I know that you're hanging on my every word.

First Day, good.

Mary Beth, tired.

Don't expect much.

School starts tomorrow.

You guessed it: I'm nervous.

There are so many things to do right now.

Once I get into the swing of things, I'll have more time to think about blogging.

I want to keep up with it, but, well, see the title of this post.

I promise to let you know a little about the first day.

Now I can finally say with authority that GPS is the devil.

I'm just now getting home. Why? Because Sprint navigation told me that Ashland was in SouthEAST KS and I followed it blindly. I didn't realize my mistake until I was an HOUR in the wrong direction. Then I turned around, prayed, and made it home on FUMES of gas. This, THIS is why I hate GPS people. 

It's like God was saying, "You know how people always ask you WHY you hate GPS? Well, here. You're welcome."

Must . . . get . . . sleep . . .

I got home from school at 9 tonight. It's been a busy day thus far.

Still on my To-Do list at home tonight:

-Wash dishes
-Make dinner
-Wash those dishes
-Check all this online stuff
-Watch the meteor shower
-Pack for a night in Wichita

These things normally make me happy, but boy, oh boy. I'm so tired that it's hard to get them done.

In other news, see lots of you tomorrow!

Very much alive.

You thought I was dead, didn't you? You thought to yourself, "Oh, Lord, she actually did trip and fall and break her brain."

Don't worry. I didn't break my brain. And if you weren't worried, I'll know that you have a life and don't hang on my every word here. Jerk.

Today was a great day. You might not think so, but it truly was.

It was the first day of official work for me. I love my place of employ, I love my co-workers, I love my room. Is there any more that I could love? Sure, but I haven't gotten there yet, so I don't know if I love it yet! Judging by what I've encountered so far, I'm going to go ahead and guess that I'll love those things, too.

I also had dinner tonight with a very lovely couple here in town. They are actually my age, which is amazing, and they're super nice. And we have many mutual friends! People I went to high school with are great friends of theirs. And these aren't people from high school that I sort of knew and liked. These were people from high school that I loved and had fun with. That, my friends, is a serious gift from the Lord, and a confirmation that I can build relationships here.

In other news, I believe you would all like to see my room! Here you go:

This is what I call my Reading Nook. I made those letters from construction paper and had so much fun doing it! 

Hopefully I'll have more books for my students to check out as time goes on. 

The view of my desks from the doorway of the room.

My "turn in" table. 

This is a board with pictures that I love. This is sort of my way to show my students that I'm a "real person."

If you know me, you may notice that I don't have college pictures. I wanted to use high school pictures to remind me of that

time in my own life as well as connect more with my students. 

This corner of my room will slowly become my science fiction and fantasy area. 

I think it's appropriate that I've started with the first sci-fi film ever made and the best sci-fi film ever made. 

I have a huge glass sheet over my desk, so I can keep pictures of my family and important notes all over it. 

The back of the room. 

The inside of my supply cabinets. One side has all my artsy stuff and movies while the other side is for my forensics kids.

Look at all those plays! Jackpot! It took a long time to organize and alphabetize them. 

Assignment board! Color coordinated to keep my brain sane. 

My sets of class books. And the other piece of art in my room, Klimt's "The Kiss."

View from the door. 

View from the other corner of the classroom. As you can see in this picture, 

I have a ceiling-mounted projector. I plan on using this a lot!

Thanks for looking at the pictures of my room! I can't wait to get to work there!

Wherein I make a list of my day

A few notes from the day:

1. I only spent a few hours in my classroom today, but I did get my Star Wars poster up. Now it feels like home.

2. I suddenly felt nervous about teaching Creative Writing, even though it'll probably be my best class. At this very moment I can't even remember why I was nervous. I just remember a tight feeling in my jaw, thinking I was way in over my head, and then leaving. Quickly. Hence, the reason for #1.

3. I'm excited about Forensics now. I'll just stick with Speech (per my coach) and get the kids ready for that. Also, please do not forget that we're going to play improv games in this class. Especially these games. That I like to watch. As a pick-me-up, because . . .

4.  . . . well, I'll leave #4 blank. Not because nothing happened, but because I don't need to get into it. Suffice to say, it prompted my need for the previous post and for retreating into my head, which . . .

5. Should I be worried that my coping mechanism is a flourishing dream world where I imagine myself as a successful comic and writer in NY being discovered by chance and landing a coveted staff writing position at a very popular sketch comedy show? Because that makes me feel better. And I'd rather daydream about an imaginary relationship than start a real one since I've decided that the whole solo career thing is what I want to do for the next couple of years.

6. And a man who is my age said these exact words today: "Hey, I wanted to tell you, you should wear your hair like that [which, for your information, is me drying my bangs out of the shower and letting it do what it wants] every day. You look really pretty."

Why thank you cute guy. You made my day.

Oh, and the new Arcade Fire album is out and as soon as the motha' flippin' bank gives me my motha' flippin' debit card, I'm going to hit that, yo.

Again, I say things like this only to emphasize my whiteness.

Sorry for another post with him. But I felt the sudden need to release some anger and I'd already taken my bike ride for the evening. Plus, I'm in bed.

So. Here's what cheers me up. I mean, seriously. I dare you to watch this video and not laugh with them. Letterman hardly ever laughs like this at a guest.



Ah. A sigh of relief. Now I feel better.

Dear Lord, God please don't break my brain.

Today I did more work in my classroom. I can feel the weight of the time crunch beating down on me. Ugh.

AND I found out some lovely news today. I was under the impression the health care for teachers was covered. Always covered. Ha. Are you paying attention? It's not.

Basically, the school system will only pay for half of my monthly coverage, which, as it turns out, is really expensive. I'm all about a certain health insurance company that contains what Jesus died on, the acronym of a certain Marvel Comics law-enforcement agency (and yes, I'm using a comic books reference, deal with it), and the primary color that is not red or yellow.

Waiting . . .

. . . almost there . . .

. . . now you've got it.

Ok, so I'm all about that company. But not when I have to pay half of the lowest monthly option. Because that wonderful company knows it's wonderful. And what do people do when they know they're wonderful? Well, folks, they charge lots and lots of money.

Why do you think Julia Roberts makes so much money? Because she knows we all think she's wonderful. And she is a little wonderful, God love her. We'll just overlook the forthcoming Put-Things-In-Mouth-Then-Chew-Them-Then-Swallow-Them, Talk-to-Deity-of-Your-Choice, Strong-Feelings-That-Are-More-Than-Like.

Waiting . . .

. . . wondering why she chose to write the title that way . . .

. . . got it, albeit with a little bit of huh?

Anyway, with a $2,000 deductible (that's right, you heard me. I'll give you a second to pick your jaw up off the floor. Lord knows I needed more than a few to do the same thing . . . . . . . . ok, ready? And, we're back.), I better not get so much as a runny nose while I'm here in Ashland.

Oh, God.

Knock.

On.

Wood.

I just know when I finish writing this post I'm going to trip over my own feet, forget to catch myself with my hands, smash my face into the corner of my kitchen counter, and break my nose all the way up into my brain.

Yes.

Break my nose. Into my brain.

It's a real thing. I looked it up.

In other news, I love my classroom. I really mean it. Love, love, love. It's a comfortable place. It's big, it's sunny, and it's cleaner than most of the rooms in the building. I've been figuring out how to buy some movie posters for the room without spending a lot of money. So far I have a Star Wars poster. Nothing fancy, nothing official, but at least I'm representing (I like using the "g" at the end to emphasize my whiteness).

Love you all. Miss you.

Purging, but no binging.

I finally felt productive today.

I went to school and got into my classroom for the first time. I wasn't expecting much, to be honest. But I did end up getting more than I expected.

First of all, the woman I'm replacing clearly didn't possess organizational skills. AND she didn't even bother to go through any of the material that was left in the classroom from past teachers. I found things dumped in piles from the early 90s.

You know, there are pack rats, people who just let things sit, and purgers. I am a purger (and no, this is not one of those moments where I now need to go into bulimic rehab). I love to dig through old things, decide what is needed, and throw the unnecessary stuff out.

I went through some gems (a complete Holocaust unit, a play version of Alas, Babylon, and a massive number of plays) and some real stinkers (too many textbooks and old copies of student work). The stinkers actually made me just as happy as the gems because I got the pleasure of throwing them away. Something about the sound of stacks of junk hitting the bin puts a song in my heart.

The bookcases are in place. The tables are in place. My desk is in place. It's great.

One problem though: the room is filthy. Oh my Lord, I seriously felt a little ill just looking at it. Old crumbs everywhere, sticky tables, dirty class, cobwebs and dead bugs littering corners and various surfaces covered the room. Ick, ick, ick.

I know the custodian will be by to take care of a lot of those things, but I'm wondering to myself just how much I would insult him by bringing some of my cleaning things in tomorrow to take care of it.

For the last few minutes at school I just sat in my chair and gazed at the room. I think it will be a place that I find comfort and enjoy being.

I hope my students feel the same way.

I want to go to there

I'm falling more and more in love with New York each day.

Three years (I think that's what it'll end up being) feel like an awfully long time.

You'll never get me to stop.

My favorite pieces usually come from Weekend Update. So, since it's airing right now, here are two SNL clips featuring the man himself, demonstrating his range. 



James Carville is always funny. Cajun Gollum. I wish I had a baby so I could test it out.

Next up, Eliot Spitzer (who lost his position as governor after a prostitution scandal) demonstrates some cards he helped create for Valentine's Day. Don't say I didn't warn you . . .



I love Hader's Spitzer impression. You can see some more here, plus you get the added bonus of current governor David Paterson.

And I wasn't going to throw this in, but I might as well. Ralph Nader is just too easy a target.



Politics. So funny.