Wherein I display my true colors (with a timeline!)

I've been doing some soul-searching lately. Not the serious kind, mind you, just the kind that prompts one to take a step back from oneself and ask, "Is this who I truly am?"

You see, I don't often think about it, but I was raised by two people who dearly loved science fiction and fantasy, picking apart films, and not apologizing for it.

Oh yes, you see where this is going now. Be prepared.

And now that I've just said that I can see Scar looming over a canyon full of dancing hyenas. Awesome. I'm going to go listen to the Lion King soundtrack real fast. Hold on.

And I'm back. And I'm not kidding. I'm seriously listening to Jeremy Irons try to sing. And I'm helping him.

Anyway, the way I was raised naturally instilled a few natural tendencies in me. I remember spending the entire summer of my 10th year locked in my bedroom devouring my parents' novels about people who ride fantastical dragons on a planet named Pern. My parents had to throw my outside for an hour each day. I'd spend that hour poking around, dreaming about riding a gold dragon, and counting down the minutes until I could come back inside and dive back into that world.

Those of you who know me will not find that strange. I have obsessive tendencies. They come in handy when those obsessions line up with my current position in life. For example, my current obsession with being the best English teacher ever lines up perfectly with my current position as an English teacher. Lovely!

But one obsession I've always had has been my love of books, TV shows, and films that treat life in a fantastic way. The dragon books, Star Wars (both books and films), my love of Agatha Christie novels, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, the Harry Potter world, Pushing Daisies, Spaced, and my ongoing attraction/repulsion relationship with horror films (but excluding torture porn). This obsession has always been in an up and down cycle in my life, often dependent on the people around me.

Here's a rough timeline for you:

 Ages 3-9:
Family time on Sunday nights included watching an hour of Nature on PBS, and then an hour of Star Trek: The Next Generation with a few bowls of popcorn topped with Parmesan cheese.

Age 10: 

Discover the Dragonriders of Pern series. Life is perfect. I vividly remember listening to my very first cassette tape (Alanis Morrisette, Jagged Little Pill-- that's right, I'm not kidding) while reading the first chapter.

Age 10.5:

Discover my parents' stash of Star Wars novels. Devour them all. This marks the beginning of my Star Wars fixation and the decline of Star Trek, sorry Mom and Dad.

Age 12:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer airs for the first time. Instant love. Who knew that TV could ever be so good? My parents buy me a t-shirt. I wear it like it's the coolest thing on the planet. My parents buy Star Wars in the brand new VHS release. I immediately run them into the ground.

Age 14:
High school begins. I realize that no one else likes the things I do. Or, if they do, not to the same extent as myself. I stop wearing my Buffy t-shirt. Much to my shame, I'll admit I also stop watching Buffy on TV.

Ages 14-18:

I begin my quest to know everything about film, cut back a little on the fantasy book reading, and think way too highly of myself. Seminal films for me at this time include A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, Moulin Rouge, Vanilla Sky, and The Matrix.

Age 18:

I go to college and vow to become a cool nerd. This is reinforced when I begin dating a boy who does not share my love for science fiction and fantasy (I should have known it would never work when he refused to watch The Lord of the Rings with me).

Ages 18-24:
Brief moments of shining nerdiness peek through: Attending two midnight releases of two Harry Potter books, debating the suckiness of the Star Wars prequels with friends, mainlining the extended editions of all three LOTR movies and all the commentary tracks (that's 60 hours of movie-watching, in case you weren't aware), and discovering Harlan Ellison. I discover Doctor Who.

Age 25:

The decline and subsequent end of my relationship with that boy prompts a resurgence of nerdom. My friends and I host Doctor Who watch parties for season 5, I attend a Star Wars watching party and debate various weaponry and technology with a friend, I begin my countdown to Inception in January. I discover Firefly.

Then I move to a small town and I live alone. I don't need to hide this nerdiness from anyone. I budget so I can go to ComicCon in the future. I finally see Spaced. My attention settles on successful and talented people in the entertainment business who embraced their inner nerd and it took them far (I'm talking about you, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Edgar Wright, and, of course, Bill Hader).

I realize that I can do this. Nerds truly do inherit the earth.

Or at least, they inherit the earth I care about.

And, on another note, I discovered this artist. His name is James Hance, and his artwork is exactly what I want. I'm going to buy some of his prints and hang them up in my home as my art.

And I don't care what anyone thinks of it!

An expanding waistband and the Shining Beacon of comedy TV

My first week of school went well. I talked to a good friend of mine who is a fellow teacher (in a different city) and realized how blessed I am. My employers, co-workers and students are wonderful, and I am so blessed to be in this particular place as a first year teacher.

I have a few things to address in this post.

First, I can now understand why I've been warned that all first year teachers gain at least 10 to 15 pounds in that year. It works like this:

1. You're working a LOT. More than other teachers. Why? Because you haven't done this before. You don't have lesson plans to fall back on. You're either creating from scratch, reading brand new books and materials, or figuring out how the general system of your class works.

2. This is very, very stressful, so if you get an extended amount of time at home you end up eating something like two dinners because, hey! Food is comfort, and your hands need something to do while you're sitting in front of the TV trying to cram a little relaxation into your day.

3. And IF, on the other hand, you don't eat as much, guess what? It's still going to happen. Why? Because you truly do not have the energy to cook when you get home. And you do not have the money yet to go out to eat. Then what are your options? Things that are quick and easy. Oh no, you've wandered into the land of frozen pizzas, ramen noodles, cereal for dinner, and (gasp!) macaroni and cheese from the box, none of to which a nutritionist could attach the world "healthy" and keep a straight face--or her job.

Me? I'm finding that I'm on number 3. I don't really have time at home to eat a lot of meals, but number 2 still creeps in there. How? Well, I make a box of macaroni and cheese, but instead of it being multiple servings (as it should), it ends up being my entire meal.

Honestly, my blood pressure and my cholesterol are going to be shot straight to you-know-where if I keep this up.

My goal?

I'm going to start trying to find fast, LOW STRESS, food that I can make in the evenings that will not break the bank OR my waistband.

I know, good luck, right?

OK, enough of the impending doom of my figure. Second item:

I loved Caroline in the City when I was in grade school. Does anyone remember that show? I hope so. It was a less successful (and less good) knockoff of FRIENDS. I loved it because the characters were funny and neurotic, even if they weren't acted very well.

I mean, what did I know as a 10-year-old?

Caroline Duffy is a 30-something cartoonist living in New York. She's successful at her job, beautiful, and much less aware of both those things than you'd think she should be. She is quite neurotic, but we, the audience, find it adorable and endearing, and it usually ends up solving the problem in most episodes. She's technically the boss of the people living around her, who are also misfits in their own way. We love them and laugh at them. Great 90's TV.

Now I love TV shows that are smarter (and actually, I truly believe that TV today can create smart, well-made programs), like The Office, Community, and 30 Rock. Yes, I love more than that, but I'm going to focus on comedies. And if you couldn't tell, these are all Thursday night NBC shows. It's the best place in TV right now (not counting cable).

I was watching one of my current favorite TV shows, the delightful 30 Rock, and realized that Liz Lemon, the main character on this show, is frighteningly similar to Caroline Duffy. Neurotic. 30-something. The boss of others. Speaks with an almost-placeable upper-midwest accent. Attractive, but much less-aware-of-it than you think she should be.

As I was watching this, and it helped that it was mere hours after finally getting to watch my Caroline in the City DVD from Netflix, it hit me.

These two women are the same!

Here's the difference, though, and it's why I love 30 Rock so much:

Whereas Caroline's neuroses are played for cuteness, Liz's simply propel her down an ever-deepening spiral of crazy. And the same goes for the other characters on her show. And I love that.

Unlike most comedies on TV, 30 Rock has yet to play up a "dramedy" moment. You know what I mean. It's that moment in a comedy where you realize the producers are going to take the characters you love and actually try to wring some emotion out of you when they kiss, break up, fight, or learn something.

It's the Jim and Pam moment in the finale of season 2 of The Office.

It's the Britta and Jeff stuff that happened in Community.

It's all that Ross and Rachel stuff in FRIENDS.

And don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy those things on those shows. I'll admit, I freaked out with Jim and Pam. I teared up a few times with Ross and Rachel (and that is embarrassing to say).

But 30 Rock is different. It says, "Look, world. We are not those shows. We are silly, irreverent, and constantly making fun of ourselves. We won't stop, and we won't apologize, so you can either get on our bandwagon or watch something else."

I'm totally on the bandwagon.

If you're looking for a show that is only about laughs, silliness, and some pretty sharp, hidden commentary on media today, that's the show for you.

It made my Saturday wonderful, and will soon begin to make my Thursday nights the same.

Encouraged . . . Perhaps.

OK, so I'm so new to this whole pursuing a career in writing (see post from earlier this week), specifically, comedic writing, that I have no one in a peer sphere (oh, classic, lame, rhyming humor) to bounce ideas off of (what am I doing ending a sentence in a preposition? I am an English teacher at). Yeah, and first I need to get ideas.

I've been devising some exercises that I can do on a daily and weekly basis to start honing my skills and get used to writing both single camera, sitcom, and sketch comedy shows.

FIRST: Write something every single day. As a Creative Writing major, nothing was more important. The only way to stay sharp and productive is to grit your teeth and put pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard) for at least ten to thirty minutes each day. I've found an excellent site for free-association writing called oneword.com. It provides you with one, randomly generated word and then you have 60 seconds to write whatever you can come up with about that word. It's been great fun, and perhaps if I get brave enough I'll start posting some here. I might not, though, for the purpose of this blog is not to assault your brains with my writing endeavors, but instead to keep you up to date about the most current events in my personal life. And if you don't want to know those, then don't worry. Just unfollow, no hard feelings.

SECOND: Watch, and study, one of each of those shows per week. By study, and here's where you are going to cry out "super nerd," I mean actually take written notes about an episode of a single camera comedy, a sitcom, and a sketch show. Don't know what those mean? Let me help.
  
Single Camera Show: These are the large majority of shows on TV. Filmed without a studio audience, these shows are easy to spot by how much the camera can maneuver. Do the shots actually follow the actors around a set, include closeups, and a musical soundtrack underneath important moments? Then it's probably a single camera show. Examples include Scrubs, 30 Rock, Arrested Development, Glee, and Community. Side note: A show like The Office uses multiple cameras at once to preserve the "documentary" feel, but is still closest to a single camera show.


Sitcom: You know a sitcom when you see one. The lighting is always pretty even across the board. No interesting shadows to be found. The format is almost always a half hour. The dialog is always quick and snappy. And there's either a studio audience or a laugh track. That darn laugh track. Sitcoms have sort of lost their status among TV watchers, but they still pull consistent viewership (and a few aren't bad). Examples include Roseann, Friends, Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, and Cheers. Side note: A lot of sitcoms today are terrible, however. Two and a Half Men, anyone?


Sketch show: A sketch show covers a broad range, but what I'm looking for is mostly a show that fills at least 50% of its air time with sketches, scenes, or comedic monologues. This definitely includes the most established of sketch shows, Saturday Night Live, but also branches out to things like The Colbert Report, The Daily Show, and Mad TV. This could even include shows like The Late Show, or The Tonight Show, because the guests actually only take up about 50% of the show, and the rest is filled with jokes, monologues, and skits. Side note: My main goal is to write for SNL. I'll just put it out there. If for some crazy reason God decides to give me a knack for writing comedic sketches, then I will get on that show come hell or high water. But I've never tried before, so now we're going to put it to the test.

THIRD: Start going through my work and finding my strengths. Sure, it would be great to be that kind of writer that can write anything and everything, but the truth is, most of us have one or two great talents in the writing arena. I mean, that's why TV shows have a writing staff. It's not because they want to rotate things around; it's because each member of the writing staff is talented in a different area, creating a stronger and more versatile writing team. If I can find my strength, I can begin to figure out a way to market that strength.

FOURTH: Don't let myself forget. I'm going to write it down. I'm going to post my big goal somewhere important. I'm going to post my smaller goals there as well, step-by-step. I'm also going to start keeping a writing log to make sure that things get done. I have ambition, and it's awesome. But if I let that ambition just sort of fester and don't give it an outlet, it'll just die. An outlet will either fuel my ambition or let it run itself out. I don't know which of those two will happen, but I've got to see it through.

As a last thought, I got a text message from a friend this evening that said I was one of the funniest people he knew--right up there with George W. I'm not quite sure what to make of it, but since I was wondering earlier today if I had a grasp of comedy at all, I'm going to count myself encouraged.

A Dream That Sort of Unraveled On Its Own In This Post

Office marathon today. Super fun. Oh, and I am full of pizza now. Not-so-super-fun.

Every now and then I get this urge to write for a TV show. Specifically, for an NBC comedy show. 

Two concerns here:

1. If this is a serious urge, it's going to require some drastic life changes. 

2. I'm not quite sure that I can create funny things like the people who actually write for these shows. 

First of all, serious life changes. I've got myself committed to Ashland. And I've got some nice financial obligations as well. 

Ugh. This post was going to continue in this vein and now I've already found myself discouraged away from trying to move to NY or Chicago to join The Second City or UCB. 

That's what I get for taking my responsibilities seriously. Also, I think it shows that my "dream" is definitely a dream rather than an all-consuming, life-changing passion. 

My ultimate goal in all this? Well, if you haven't guessed from the nature of my most recent posts, I'm quite enamored with SNL lately. That's Saturday Night Live for those of you who aren't in the know. I've found myself studying the humor, the way skits are constructed, how stars are fit into the show, and how the show morphs depending on who the guests are. It's actually quite a beast to behold. 

Those who love humor often bemoan the current state of SNL. And I find it especially funny that the "current" state of SNL is always criticized, no matter what season the show is in. People will always have problems with it, I suppose. 

I personally think that the show is entering a brilliant new phase. I could go into it more here, but instead I'll leave it for a review on my TV tab. Keep checking back. It's not up now, but I'm sure I'll have it up soon. 

Anyway, we all know about my strange fixation on Bill Hader, but it's so much more than that. The talent on that show right now is amazing, the writing is doing well, and the guys from The Lonely Island (the guys behind the SNL Digital Shorts) are taking the show into the future one awkward video at a time. 

And now, just for you, because I know you wanted it, another picture of Mr. Hader, this time with glasses. Why don't all people wear glasses? 

Oh, and Hader's crazily versatile voice talents will soon be appearing in this movie, coming out in August. Listen carefully for the voice that says "Combo" around 1:45. Come on. It looks crazy fun. And hilarious to boot. I need to find some way to see this since I'll already be an hour away from the closest theatre that would show it.