Who knew that editing a blog was so time-consuming and tedious?
Not me.
I spent a good portion of my afternoon creating a FAQ tab for my blog. This way, if you have a question or wonder what in the world this blog is all about you can check it out!
Also, I spent quite a bit of time this afternoon learning more about my photo editing program. I love it! Why did I not major in graphic design? I created my first photo collage for the FAQ tab, which I'm very proud of. It's a little plain, but that's fine with me while I'm learning the ropes.
Now I'm off to watch some Doctor Who tonight! Huzzah!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Star Wars and Missions
It's been far too long since I've posted. Perhaps not technically, but mentally. You know how they say it takes 30 days to form a habit, but only 1 day to break it? Well, the habit of keeping this blog (and I started it for all of you who want to keep tabs on me as I move) has formed well as I've updated regularly over the last month. This weekend, however, I just did not feel like posting. And it's totally true. I felt, hmmm, I should post tonight. Then I thought, nah, I can post tomorrow. Uh oh. That is a recipe for NEVER POSTING AGAIN. And I would know. I've "restarted" this blog at least three times.
So. A real post for today.
And in case you were wondering about my day yesterday, it was great. Talked to Amy about teaching Speech, and she gave me a ton of great material. Then lunch with Mal, which was delicious and fun. Then home for some house-cleaning, garden-watering, and sun-tanning (I gave in and decided to lay out yesterday). THEN I got a frantic text from Saras telling me that Star Wars was beginning at her house and I better get over there. They may not have realized it, but I moved so fast that I would have been a blur if you'd seen me. I started laundry, washed the dishes, showered, dried my hair (a considerable feat) and got ready in a matter of 45 minutes and was at her house an hour after she texted. And then. My friends. It was wonderful.
Star Wars is probably my most favorite series. Ever. Perhaps if a movie was made out of The Dragonriders of Pern it might be up on the top, but not even Harry Potter can surpass Star Wars for me. Perhaps the most fun of the evening? My friend Ben is also a major Star Wars nerd (and you can't even call yourself a Star Wars nerd unless you have done much more than simply watch the movies). So he and I spent much of the movies discussing the various technology of the galaxy, arguing over the merits of certain lightsaber duels, and quoting our favorite lines. An example of my nerdiness? As we watched Chewbaccca, I proceeded to relate to those watching how a young wookie enters adulthood through a dangerous ritual which enables him to procure plant fibers to weave a belt--which Chewie was wearing. They appreciated it. I know they did.
Lately I feel like I've been writing a bit of fluff. Mostly that's because no new developments have taken place in the moving process; however, I absolutely loved church this morning.
It was my last Sunday playing worship for church. So bittersweet. I love my violin so much and the chance to worship the King with it is such a blessing, but I'm still saddened by the fact that I have to leave the worship team. Nate told me that I could play when I come back to visit, which lightened my heart considerably.
Then Jim spoke this morning. For those of you who don't attend our church, we have three men who speak. Terry is our senior pastor, and Jim and Dave are associate pastors, or whatever we call them. Terry speaks about very practical things, and his messages are full of life application. Jim speaks about very complicated subjects and loads his messages with Scripture and tough theological ideas. Dave speaks about life areas people struggle with and uses Scripture to inspire, convict, and challenge. They are all great speakers, and while some people respond best to certain speakers, I usually respond best to Jim's messages. At least, that's how it's been going for me lately.
This morning he spoke about living missionally. And he made so many solid points, but the one that stuck out to me the most hit me squarely in the chest. God asks us to pray for workers to go out into the harvest. Anyone can go. It's easy. You pack your bags and you go. But it's selfish at its most base level. If all you do is go, then you're doing so on your own terms. But God commands that we ask Him to send people into the field. Being sent is different. When you're sent, it's not on your own terms. It's on His.
And I realized that I am blessed beyond anything I could imagine. Why? Because God is sending me. Holy-freaking-cow. How selfish am I by dwelling on the fact that I don't want to go away from my friends here in Wichita? Of course I don't want to go to Ashland. Things on my own terms would never look that hard. But therein lies the beauty. I know I'm being sent because of that very reason. Being sent will always require sacrifice, prayer, strength, and courage. Going has a sort of cavalier quality. Being sent is not personally exciting or fulfilling.
But then again it IS exciting and fulfilling. But only when looked at correctly. By loving His mission and living to see His purpose accomplished (whatever it is, for only He knows) I can and will find INFINITE benefit.
Oh Jesus, please give me the courage to trade my life today.
So. A real post for today.
And in case you were wondering about my day yesterday, it was great. Talked to Amy about teaching Speech, and she gave me a ton of great material. Then lunch with Mal, which was delicious and fun. Then home for some house-cleaning, garden-watering, and sun-tanning (I gave in and decided to lay out yesterday). THEN I got a frantic text from Saras telling me that Star Wars was beginning at her house and I better get over there. They may not have realized it, but I moved so fast that I would have been a blur if you'd seen me. I started laundry, washed the dishes, showered, dried my hair (a considerable feat) and got ready in a matter of 45 minutes and was at her house an hour after she texted. And then. My friends. It was wonderful.
Star Wars is probably my most favorite series. Ever. Perhaps if a movie was made out of The Dragonriders of Pern it might be up on the top, but not even Harry Potter can surpass Star Wars for me. Perhaps the most fun of the evening? My friend Ben is also a major Star Wars nerd (and you can't even call yourself a Star Wars nerd unless you have done much more than simply watch the movies). So he and I spent much of the movies discussing the various technology of the galaxy, arguing over the merits of certain lightsaber duels, and quoting our favorite lines. An example of my nerdiness? As we watched Chewbaccca, I proceeded to relate to those watching how a young wookie enters adulthood through a dangerous ritual which enables him to procure plant fibers to weave a belt--which Chewie was wearing. They appreciated it. I know they did.
Lately I feel like I've been writing a bit of fluff. Mostly that's because no new developments have taken place in the moving process; however, I absolutely loved church this morning.
It was my last Sunday playing worship for church. So bittersweet. I love my violin so much and the chance to worship the King with it is such a blessing, but I'm still saddened by the fact that I have to leave the worship team. Nate told me that I could play when I come back to visit, which lightened my heart considerably.
Then Jim spoke this morning. For those of you who don't attend our church, we have three men who speak. Terry is our senior pastor, and Jim and Dave are associate pastors, or whatever we call them. Terry speaks about very practical things, and his messages are full of life application. Jim speaks about very complicated subjects and loads his messages with Scripture and tough theological ideas. Dave speaks about life areas people struggle with and uses Scripture to inspire, convict, and challenge. They are all great speakers, and while some people respond best to certain speakers, I usually respond best to Jim's messages. At least, that's how it's been going for me lately.
This morning he spoke about living missionally. And he made so many solid points, but the one that stuck out to me the most hit me squarely in the chest. God asks us to pray for workers to go out into the harvest. Anyone can go. It's easy. You pack your bags and you go. But it's selfish at its most base level. If all you do is go, then you're doing so on your own terms. But God commands that we ask Him to send people into the field. Being sent is different. When you're sent, it's not on your own terms. It's on His.
And I realized that I am blessed beyond anything I could imagine. Why? Because God is sending me. Holy-freaking-cow. How selfish am I by dwelling on the fact that I don't want to go away from my friends here in Wichita? Of course I don't want to go to Ashland. Things on my own terms would never look that hard. But therein lies the beauty. I know I'm being sent because of that very reason. Being sent will always require sacrifice, prayer, strength, and courage. Going has a sort of cavalier quality. Being sent is not personally exciting or fulfilling.
But then again it IS exciting and fulfilling. But only when looked at correctly. By loving His mission and living to see His purpose accomplished (whatever it is, for only He knows) I can and will find INFINITE benefit.
Oh Jesus, please give me the courage to trade my life today.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Holding On To Worship
Yes, it is 4:30 in the morning. Yes, I am awake. But I am awake because an evening nap ended up becoming my "sleep" for the night, so now my body is ready to start the day. Moving on.
I rediscovered a worship song that I used to listen to incessantly. It's called Rescue, and it's by a worship band called The Desperation Band. I loved it for many reasons at the time, but I'm loving it for new reasons now. I love the way a worship song or a passage from God's Word can speak to my life in multiple seasons.
I'm apprehensive about moving for multiple reasons (and don't worry, this is not a random leap to a different subject. It will tie in . . .). I don't know anyone in this small town. I will be one of three people my age, so friendships will look much different. I'll have many older women trying to set me up with men in the town. I'll be a first year teacher for kids who have all been in the same class since they were in diapers. Take your pick.
But another apprehension is finding a church. I know that I need to throw in with people and really commit to a church while I'm in Ashland, but I'm nervous about it. I grew up in a church that is very similar to what I might find in Ashland. But while in college I found that my heart really responded and grew in a church that focused on small group ministry, real-life application, and a worship band.
Now, growing up, I will admit it, I scoffed at Christian music. Granted, at the time, contemporary Christian looked much different than it does now, but I still look back on my attitude about it and shake my head. Worship music was for super Jesus freaks who played boring and unoriginal music, always in the keys of E, G, D, or C and always with the same chord progressions.
Then I came to what would become my home church here in Wichita and saw that there was a band on the stage. No organ to be seen. There was a piano, but no one was playing it at the time. And I prepared myself for some corny, unoriginal music. And then they started playing Switchfoot's "This is Your Life," which I had never heard before and was captivated by. This was Christian music?! Seriously? I loved it. And I realized that worshiping the King could be more than a choir with an organ, and it could satisfy my love of "good" music--a relative term, to be sure.
And I began to grow in my appreciation of it. My voice and my love of using it finally found an outlet. I learned how to translate reading piano music into reading chords, figuring out how to comp and fill. I figured out how to add violin lines to songs and improvise. I threw my heart into worship. I played in many places with many different people and fell in love every time.
I became a woman who lost herself in the music. Me! A girl who used to be plagued by stage fright in high school--though that never stopped me from performing. I grew as a musician, as a leader, as a lover of Christ, and in my understanding of Him.
I feel like the last six months saw a growth in my appreciation and understanding of what it means to lead worship that I could never have foreseen. Part of it was being led well by men who really strive to understand the heart of worship. Part of it was letting go of the last of my hangups about sounding "pretty" while onstage. Part of it was God sucking me deeper into relationship with Him. I began leading songs without inhibition.
Perhaps if you're not a performer you may not understand this next thought, but there are times when you play/sing and song and it goes well, but then there are times that who you are as a musician connects powerfully with a song and it goes places you never thought of. Well, that started happening when I would sing. I lost myself in songs like "Revelation Song" by Kari Jobe and "Praise the Lord" by Kristene Mueller.
On a side note, this song has walked me through a lot recently.
And now I'm going somewhere where this kind of worship doesn't exist. I'm scared that I'll lose it somehow (which is ridiculous, of course) or that I won't be able to start it (which is a real possibility).
One of the things I already miss most about my college ministry is the worship team. So much talent, so much love for Christ, and such a thirst to discover new things and really engage peoples' hearts in worship. And I'm going to miss playing worship for my church as well. One of the things I pray for is that God would lead me to people or a place where I can worship Him in this way.
But at least I can thank Him for the internet and the ability to find new worship music and worship on my own until He shows me what's in store.
I rediscovered a worship song that I used to listen to incessantly. It's called Rescue, and it's by a worship band called The Desperation Band. I loved it for many reasons at the time, but I'm loving it for new reasons now. I love the way a worship song or a passage from God's Word can speak to my life in multiple seasons.
I'm apprehensive about moving for multiple reasons (and don't worry, this is not a random leap to a different subject. It will tie in . . .). I don't know anyone in this small town. I will be one of three people my age, so friendships will look much different. I'll have many older women trying to set me up with men in the town. I'll be a first year teacher for kids who have all been in the same class since they were in diapers. Take your pick.
But another apprehension is finding a church. I know that I need to throw in with people and really commit to a church while I'm in Ashland, but I'm nervous about it. I grew up in a church that is very similar to what I might find in Ashland. But while in college I found that my heart really responded and grew in a church that focused on small group ministry, real-life application, and a worship band.
Now, growing up, I will admit it, I scoffed at Christian music. Granted, at the time, contemporary Christian looked much different than it does now, but I still look back on my attitude about it and shake my head. Worship music was for super Jesus freaks who played boring and unoriginal music, always in the keys of E, G, D, or C and always with the same chord progressions.
Then I came to what would become my home church here in Wichita and saw that there was a band on the stage. No organ to be seen. There was a piano, but no one was playing it at the time. And I prepared myself for some corny, unoriginal music. And then they started playing Switchfoot's "This is Your Life," which I had never heard before and was captivated by. This was Christian music?! Seriously? I loved it. And I realized that worshiping the King could be more than a choir with an organ, and it could satisfy my love of "good" music--a relative term, to be sure.
And I began to grow in my appreciation of it. My voice and my love of using it finally found an outlet. I learned how to translate reading piano music into reading chords, figuring out how to comp and fill. I figured out how to add violin lines to songs and improvise. I threw my heart into worship. I played in many places with many different people and fell in love every time.
I became a woman who lost herself in the music. Me! A girl who used to be plagued by stage fright in high school--though that never stopped me from performing. I grew as a musician, as a leader, as a lover of Christ, and in my understanding of Him.
I feel like the last six months saw a growth in my appreciation and understanding of what it means to lead worship that I could never have foreseen. Part of it was being led well by men who really strive to understand the heart of worship. Part of it was letting go of the last of my hangups about sounding "pretty" while onstage. Part of it was God sucking me deeper into relationship with Him. I began leading songs without inhibition.
Perhaps if you're not a performer you may not understand this next thought, but there are times when you play/sing and song and it goes well, but then there are times that who you are as a musician connects powerfully with a song and it goes places you never thought of. Well, that started happening when I would sing. I lost myself in songs like "Revelation Song" by Kari Jobe and "Praise the Lord" by Kristene Mueller.
On a side note, this song has walked me through a lot recently.
And now I'm going somewhere where this kind of worship doesn't exist. I'm scared that I'll lose it somehow (which is ridiculous, of course) or that I won't be able to start it (which is a real possibility).
One of the things I already miss most about my college ministry is the worship team. So much talent, so much love for Christ, and such a thirst to discover new things and really engage peoples' hearts in worship. And I'm going to miss playing worship for my church as well. One of the things I pray for is that God would lead me to people or a place where I can worship Him in this way.
But at least I can thank Him for the internet and the ability to find new worship music and worship on my own until He shows me what's in store.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Perks of Being a Single Girl: Unabashedly Admiring a Celebrity
Can't help myself. Here.
And things are speeding up around here. I've been staying up and packing, and man, is it throwing a wrench into all my daily goings on.
First of all, I'm staying up until the wee hours of the morning because my favorite time to pack is super late at night. And this is definitely wrecking my sleep schedule. But, then again, wasn't it already a train wreck?
And secondly, being the crazy organizational control freak that I am, having my room in a perpetual state of disarray is driving. me. crazy. There are many things that I need to do to keep my life moving along, but all my mind can seem to focus on is the fact that my room is a mess and I need to finish packing NOW. Which, I don't. At all. I have some time. I mean, I haven't even closed on my house yet.
So I'm currently in limbo. But Stefon is keeping me company. As is Bill Hader. And his wonderful glasses and eyebrows. Some girls may like big biceps, muscles, a flashy smile, or amazing style. Just give me eyebrows. So, for you male readers, pardon me turning into a girl. You are welcome to skip the last portion of this post. Who in the world would be attracted to this . . .
And things are speeding up around here. I've been staying up and packing, and man, is it throwing a wrench into all my daily goings on.
First of all, I'm staying up until the wee hours of the morning because my favorite time to pack is super late at night. And this is definitely wrecking my sleep schedule. But, then again, wasn't it already a train wreck?
And secondly, being the crazy organizational control freak that I am, having my room in a perpetual state of disarray is driving. me. crazy. There are many things that I need to do to keep my life moving along, but all my mind can seem to focus on is the fact that my room is a mess and I need to finish packing NOW. Which, I don't. At all. I have some time. I mean, I haven't even closed on my house yet.
So I'm currently in limbo. But Stefon is keeping me company. As is Bill Hader. And his wonderful glasses and eyebrows. Some girls may like big biceps, muscles, a flashy smile, or amazing style. Just give me eyebrows. So, for you male readers, pardon me turning into a girl. You are welcome to skip the last portion of this post. Who in the world would be attracted to this . . .
. . . when there is THIS in the world?
Oh, eyebrows. Behave.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Cheer Up Hug!
Sorry about the downer yesterday.
Here is something that always cheers me up, and I hope it will do the same for you.
Bill Hader is the best thing to happen to SNL in years, and never, ever laughs. When he cracks a smile it's all over for me. So funny.
Again, you're welcome.
Here is something that always cheers me up, and I hope it will do the same for you.
Bill Hader is the best thing to happen to SNL in years, and never, ever laughs. When he cracks a smile it's all over for me. So funny.
Again, you're welcome.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Closed Doors
God's been doing something in my heart over the last few weeks, and I suppose, looking back, it's been a year-long process.
My heart loved where I was a year ago. I was in a long-term relationship with an incredible man. I had the coolest group of friends that any girl could ever ask for. I lived with some amazing gracious and generous people. My family was supportive, on track with each other, and keeping in touch. My church family was amazing. And school made me happy. I had finally planted. I had real, deep roots taking hold.
Then God decided that He wanted me somewhere else.
He took my relationship and stretched it and pulled it. Things felt unsettled, difficult, strange. He banged on the door to my heart and said Hey, little girl. You better take a long hard look at what I really want for your life. And then I listened. Darn it when you finally listen, huh? And I saw what He wanted for my life. And it wasn't the man I was with.
God closed that door.
He showed me a job three hours away that got my heart racing, for some reason. It fell in line perfectly. And then I was terrified. I couldn't move away! I would miss my family, my friends, my church! This couldn't be what was in store for me! So I tried, desperately, to stay. I prepped for interviews like crazy. I rehearsed in the mirror. I dressed perfectly for each, individual location. I was charming, warm, intelligent, and relaxed. They liked me, and I liked them. And no one called me back. People were shocked. I was shocked. I had nailed those interviews, people. You know the Tiger Woods arm pump? Yeah, I was doing that in the car after the interviews. NAILED them. The explanation for no calls?
God closed that door.
I've been looking at the closed doors and wondering to myself just what He's closing off. Deep inside I've always felt a pull away from Wichita. I always chalked it up to restlessness, but the more I've looked at it, the more I'm realizing that God's closing very specific doors for very specific reasons.
He's breaking my ties to the specific city of Wichita.
The bonds of friendship and church family can transcend distance. I will always be friends with the people here in Wichita. A church family will always be there for me, and we will forever be part of the big "C" church together. That tie will never be broken.
But a relationship can tie you to a location. And he and I both felt strange pulls away from Wichita, but who could have known that those pulls were meant to pull us apart, rather than away from Wichita together. And a job, well of course that can tie you to a location. God has cut very specific things for me.
I don't know about Ashland. It's where He wants me right now. But I just feel like I've run a marathon to the edge of a cliff, and I'm camping for the night before diving off the edge. Ashland is my campground. I might be jumping into a life in Ashland, who knows? But I might also be jumping into a life in Denver, Kansas City, Portland, Scotland, Ethiopia, Russia, Japan, or anywhere else in the world. He hasn't said no to anything except Wichita.
And it pains me to write that. Because I love my Wichita family so much. And I know that they want me to come back. But God doesn't want that.
I will love Wichita and what it meant to me forever.
And I will try to move forward into the unknown with courage and trust in the Lord.
My heart loved where I was a year ago. I was in a long-term relationship with an incredible man. I had the coolest group of friends that any girl could ever ask for. I lived with some amazing gracious and generous people. My family was supportive, on track with each other, and keeping in touch. My church family was amazing. And school made me happy. I had finally planted. I had real, deep roots taking hold.
Then God decided that He wanted me somewhere else.
He took my relationship and stretched it and pulled it. Things felt unsettled, difficult, strange. He banged on the door to my heart and said Hey, little girl. You better take a long hard look at what I really want for your life. And then I listened. Darn it when you finally listen, huh? And I saw what He wanted for my life. And it wasn't the man I was with.
God closed that door.
He showed me a job three hours away that got my heart racing, for some reason. It fell in line perfectly. And then I was terrified. I couldn't move away! I would miss my family, my friends, my church! This couldn't be what was in store for me! So I tried, desperately, to stay. I prepped for interviews like crazy. I rehearsed in the mirror. I dressed perfectly for each, individual location. I was charming, warm, intelligent, and relaxed. They liked me, and I liked them. And no one called me back. People were shocked. I was shocked. I had nailed those interviews, people. You know the Tiger Woods arm pump? Yeah, I was doing that in the car after the interviews. NAILED them. The explanation for no calls?
God closed that door.
I've been looking at the closed doors and wondering to myself just what He's closing off. Deep inside I've always felt a pull away from Wichita. I always chalked it up to restlessness, but the more I've looked at it, the more I'm realizing that God's closing very specific doors for very specific reasons.
He's breaking my ties to the specific city of Wichita.
The bonds of friendship and church family can transcend distance. I will always be friends with the people here in Wichita. A church family will always be there for me, and we will forever be part of the big "C" church together. That tie will never be broken.
But a relationship can tie you to a location. And he and I both felt strange pulls away from Wichita, but who could have known that those pulls were meant to pull us apart, rather than away from Wichita together. And a job, well of course that can tie you to a location. God has cut very specific things for me.
I don't know about Ashland. It's where He wants me right now. But I just feel like I've run a marathon to the edge of a cliff, and I'm camping for the night before diving off the edge. Ashland is my campground. I might be jumping into a life in Ashland, who knows? But I might also be jumping into a life in Denver, Kansas City, Portland, Scotland, Ethiopia, Russia, Japan, or anywhere else in the world. He hasn't said no to anything except Wichita.
And it pains me to write that. Because I love my Wichita family so much. And I know that they want me to come back. But God doesn't want that.
I will love Wichita and what it meant to me forever.
And I will try to move forward into the unknown with courage and trust in the Lord.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
It Does a Body Good?
Should I be concerned that I can go an entire day and not desire food? Or feel hungry at all, for that matter?
I mean, I'm sure that there are people out in the world who are similar, but perhaps these people take care of themselves by partaking in sustenance, whereas I just don't eat if I don't feel like it.
Example: Yesterday, I went over to a dear friend's house for dinner. I had to pick something up at the store, and walking among the aisles of food, I felt hungry for the first time all day. My plan had been to simply arrive at my friend's house, help make dinner, and eat something, despite the fact that I had no appetite and wasn't interested in food. And we were eating hummus, a particular favorite of mine.
And today. Haven't eaten yet. Why? Don't feel hungry.
So I guess here is my question. If a person does not feel hungry, does that matter? Doesn't a body require food on a daily basis? Yeah, yeah, people fast and a body can get used to going without food, but a normal, everyday person requires daily food, correct?
So shouldn't I feel hungry? I mean really? Shouldn't I? I adore food! It makes me happy and I often eat enough to make myself feel ill.
Or is this lack of hunger coming from my brain rather than my stomach?
And if the latter is the situation, then shouldn't I be far more worried?
Oh, and p.s. I am going to eat tonight, even though I'm not hungry, so don't worry yourselves. At least about whether or not I'm going to eat.
I mean, I'm sure that there are people out in the world who are similar, but perhaps these people take care of themselves by partaking in sustenance, whereas I just don't eat if I don't feel like it.
Example: Yesterday, I went over to a dear friend's house for dinner. I had to pick something up at the store, and walking among the aisles of food, I felt hungry for the first time all day. My plan had been to simply arrive at my friend's house, help make dinner, and eat something, despite the fact that I had no appetite and wasn't interested in food. And we were eating hummus, a particular favorite of mine.
And today. Haven't eaten yet. Why? Don't feel hungry.
So I guess here is my question. If a person does not feel hungry, does that matter? Doesn't a body require food on a daily basis? Yeah, yeah, people fast and a body can get used to going without food, but a normal, everyday person requires daily food, correct?
So shouldn't I feel hungry? I mean really? Shouldn't I? I adore food! It makes me happy and I often eat enough to make myself feel ill.
Or is this lack of hunger coming from my brain rather than my stomach?
And if the latter is the situation, then shouldn't I be far more worried?
Oh, and p.s. I am going to eat tonight, even though I'm not hungry, so don't worry yourselves. At least about whether or not I'm going to eat.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Santigold
Searching for music has never been so much fun! A friend of mine recommended a site instead of Pandora. Not that there's anything wrong with Pandora, but this site allows me more control, and I like its radio choices better. It's called Grooveshark. Check it out.
That being said, I've found an artist called Santigold. I'm slowly falling more and more in love with her music. She's been compared with M.I.A. and the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, so it's no surprise that I'm liking her.
I've decided to share some of it with you. I'm going to give you her first two singles. These came out in 2007, so I feel behind the times!
First song, "L.E.S. Artistes." Perhaps more palatable for those of you who might not like stranger-sounding things. Although the video is out there.
Sorry for the paint and sand violence!
Now, for those of you who do like stranger things (like me), then this is the song for you. "Creator."
Here's where you can hear the comparison to M.I.A.
And by the way, if you're listening to this song where others are present and you get weird looks, I'm sorry! Until I find someone who will like it with me this song is relegated to my blast-when-I'm-alone-in-the-house playlist. It might have to be in yours too. Unless you want to share your love of it with me. And then we can have a dance party together.
That being said, I've found an artist called Santigold. I'm slowly falling more and more in love with her music. She's been compared with M.I.A. and the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs, so it's no surprise that I'm liking her.
I've decided to share some of it with you. I'm going to give you her first two singles. These came out in 2007, so I feel behind the times!
First song, "L.E.S. Artistes." Perhaps more palatable for those of you who might not like stranger-sounding things. Although the video is out there.
Sorry for the paint and sand violence!
Now, for those of you who do like stranger things (like me), then this is the song for you. "Creator."
Here's where you can hear the comparison to M.I.A.
And by the way, if you're listening to this song where others are present and you get weird looks, I'm sorry! Until I find someone who will like it with me this song is relegated to my blast-when-I'm-alone-in-the-house playlist. It might have to be in yours too. Unless you want to share your love of it with me. And then we can have a dance party together.
Bloggsorzzzzzzzzzzzzz
OK, people. It has been a long two days, and a lot has happened.
1. I took some awesome friends to see a house yesterday.
2. We loved it.
3. I told my parents about it that evening.
4. They told me an hour later that they wanted to go see it the next day and talk money.
5. I went again this morning and took my parents with me.
6. They loved it.
7. We talked money.
8. I made an offer.
8a. She countered.
8b. I thought really hard and forced myself not to look at my parents for help.
9. I accepted her price.
10. We talked details.
11. We shook on it.
12. I went to the bank.
13. We talked money.
14. I filled out a loan application.
15. I got approved.
16. I'm in the process of buying.
Phew! That's a ton of stuff! It makes me even more exhausted just reading about it all. Now I need to go to sleep and have dreams about the pleasures/pains of owning a home!
1. I took some awesome friends to see a house yesterday.
2. We loved it.
3. I told my parents about it that evening.
4. They told me an hour later that they wanted to go see it the next day and talk money.
5. I went again this morning and took my parents with me.
6. They loved it.
7. We talked money.
8. I made an offer.
8a. She countered.
8b. I thought really hard and forced myself not to look at my parents for help.
9. I accepted her price.
10. We talked details.
11. We shook on it.
12. I went to the bank.
13. We talked money.
14. I filled out a loan application.
15. I got approved.
16. I'm in the process of buying.
Phew! That's a ton of stuff! It makes me even more exhausted just reading about it all. Now I need to go to sleep and have dreams about the pleasures/pains of owning a home!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
My Future Home . . . Hopefully
Well, folks, as long as closing on the house goes well and the bank decides that it will let me get a mortgage, it looks like I am going to be buying this house:
I mean, look at it. It's all stone. And that porch! It's a real porch. And it faces East, so no annoying hot, late nights trying to chill on the porch. Oh, and here's something that comes with the porch:
A swing. Heck yeah! And here are some things that I hope to see on my porch in the future:
Loving friends. And maybe a cat. Someday. Not right away, though. So, you walk up to the house and enter through a front door that looks like this:
Sorry about the awful blurriness and the glare from the flash. Hopefully someday I'll have a real camera to use. But in the meantime, can you see how solid the wood is? You see how pretty those dark hinges are? These are the original doors. And the house was built in 1900. I love that.
So then you turn around and see the living room:
Very brown, huh? The entire room is covered in wood paneling. Not my favorite thing. So hopefully I'll be able to find a way to change that. And no, my couch will not by that bright fuchsia color. The carpet isn't bad at all, but maybe next summer I could pull it up and reveal some original wood flooring (which is said to be there . . .).
And then you notice something lovely off to the left:
Fireplace! I can't wait to have a fire in that!
Now we turn directly behind us and find the kitchen:
Again, sorry for the blurred quality. But as you can see, the cabinets are very solid and very nice. And very original. How cool! And there is a lot of good counter space for all the baking I intend to start doing.
The rest of the house was nice too, but I won't post those pictures here, because they still contain personal items of the woman who currently owns the house.
So now we've wandered around inside. Let's go out the kitchen door and check out the rest of the yard:
What a good place for grilling and chilling! Or grillin' and chillin'. Either way is cool with me. Then you turn around and!
Cat! She said this cat adopted her house and comes with it. I'm not sure if she's joking or not. But I'm OK with it if she isn't. He's an outdoor cat and only comes to the house for meals. Or to flirt with new people, apparently.
Then you walk to the edge of the backyard and see the back of the house:
And to help me keep up with all that landscaping and gardening:
My own gardening shed! Looks like I'm going to have to start working on that green thumb . . .
The house is so well kept on the outside! No weeds anywhere!
And finally, one of the best parts of the house . . .
It comes with its own peach tree!
Guess I'll have to start liking peaches, too.
I'm OK with that!
I mean, look at it. It's all stone. And that porch! It's a real porch. And it faces East, so no annoying hot, late nights trying to chill on the porch. Oh, and here's something that comes with the porch:
A swing. Heck yeah! And here are some things that I hope to see on my porch in the future:
Loving friends. And maybe a cat. Someday. Not right away, though. So, you walk up to the house and enter through a front door that looks like this:
Sorry about the awful blurriness and the glare from the flash. Hopefully someday I'll have a real camera to use. But in the meantime, can you see how solid the wood is? You see how pretty those dark hinges are? These are the original doors. And the house was built in 1900. I love that.
So then you turn around and see the living room:
Very brown, huh? The entire room is covered in wood paneling. Not my favorite thing. So hopefully I'll be able to find a way to change that. And no, my couch will not by that bright fuchsia color. The carpet isn't bad at all, but maybe next summer I could pull it up and reveal some original wood flooring (which is said to be there . . .).
And then you notice something lovely off to the left:
Fireplace! I can't wait to have a fire in that!
Now we turn directly behind us and find the kitchen:
Again, sorry for the blurred quality. But as you can see, the cabinets are very solid and very nice. And very original. How cool! And there is a lot of good counter space for all the baking I intend to start doing.
The rest of the house was nice too, but I won't post those pictures here, because they still contain personal items of the woman who currently owns the house.
So now we've wandered around inside. Let's go out the kitchen door and check out the rest of the yard:
What a good place for grilling and chilling! Or grillin' and chillin'. Either way is cool with me. Then you turn around and!
Cat! She said this cat adopted her house and comes with it. I'm not sure if she's joking or not. But I'm OK with it if she isn't. He's an outdoor cat and only comes to the house for meals. Or to flirt with new people, apparently.
Then you walk to the edge of the backyard and see the back of the house:
And to help me keep up with all that landscaping and gardening:
My own gardening shed! Looks like I'm going to have to start working on that green thumb . . .
The house is so well kept on the outside! No weeds anywhere!
And finally, one of the best parts of the house . . .
It comes with its own peach tree!
Guess I'll have to start liking peaches, too.
I'm OK with that!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Bright Star Indeed
So I know that my posts have been shorter and on the less informative side as of late. But to be honest, I didn't feel like I had much to write. Maybe someday you'll hear about my horrible adventure on Sunday, but don't count on it.
I just watched Bright Star, a film about John Keats and his relationship with Fanny Brawne. And let me tell you. I adored this movie.
Most people would watch this movie and about ten minutes in decide that it would be more fun to clip their toenails, but I loved it. Slow, quiet movies make me happy. If you need any more proof, check out The Girl With a Pearl Earring. One of my favorite movies and very, very slow.
I loved Bright Star, however, for two reason. First, it's a romance set in the 1800s. And it stays in the 1800s. By this I mean that there is no unnecessary sex. Or any at all. It's restrained and achingly beautiful. Second, it's all about Keats, and this means it's all about poetry. It's about poetry as life, finding the inspiration for poetry, and learning how to be in poetry.
As Keats says in the film, "A poem needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving in a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore, but to be in the lake. To luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not 'work the lake out.' It is an experience beyond thought. Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept mystery."
Amen, brother. Amen.
For those of you who may not have a special affinity for poetry, this may sound rather dull or quaint. But for me, a film like this fills a special place in my heart that not many films can. Yes, I really love film, but a film is not a poem. And rarely does a film address poetry in any meaningful way or at all. I mean, when the ending credits are backed by the recitation of Keats' poetry, you know it's at the forefront of the movie.
And listening to poetry while watching the credits instead of a cheesy pop song made my heart sing, by the way.
I would encourage anyone with a love of poetry and/or period romance to see this movie. It might help you understand your own love of poetry or why those around you love it. It might also make you cry. It definitely made me cry. Man. Heartbreaking.
Watch this, then watch the movie.
p.s. For a laugh, check out the new recommended video.
I just watched Bright Star, a film about John Keats and his relationship with Fanny Brawne. And let me tell you. I adored this movie.
Most people would watch this movie and about ten minutes in decide that it would be more fun to clip their toenails, but I loved it. Slow, quiet movies make me happy. If you need any more proof, check out The Girl With a Pearl Earring. One of my favorite movies and very, very slow.
I loved Bright Star, however, for two reason. First, it's a romance set in the 1800s. And it stays in the 1800s. By this I mean that there is no unnecessary sex. Or any at all. It's restrained and achingly beautiful. Second, it's all about Keats, and this means it's all about poetry. It's about poetry as life, finding the inspiration for poetry, and learning how to be in poetry.
As Keats says in the film, "A poem needs understanding through the senses. The point of diving in a lake is not immediately to swim to the shore, but to be in the lake. To luxuriate in the sensation of water. You do not 'work the lake out.' It is an experience beyond thought. Poetry soothes and emboldens the soul to accept mystery."
Amen, brother. Amen.
For those of you who may not have a special affinity for poetry, this may sound rather dull or quaint. But for me, a film like this fills a special place in my heart that not many films can. Yes, I really love film, but a film is not a poem. And rarely does a film address poetry in any meaningful way or at all. I mean, when the ending credits are backed by the recitation of Keats' poetry, you know it's at the forefront of the movie.
And listening to poetry while watching the credits instead of a cheesy pop song made my heart sing, by the way.
I would encourage anyone with a love of poetry and/or period romance to see this movie. It might help you understand your own love of poetry or why those around you love it. It might also make you cry. It definitely made me cry. Man. Heartbreaking.
Watch this, then watch the movie.
p.s. For a laugh, check out the new recommended video.
Quick Update
By the way, for those of you who were wondering, I did not go visit the house this last week. It wasn't ready for a showing yet.
The new day is this Wednesday. I'll have pictures posted then, don't worry.
In the meantime, please enjoy.
You're welcome.
The new day is this Wednesday. I'll have pictures posted then, don't worry.
In the meantime, please enjoy.
You're welcome.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Ugh
Not sure what to write.
Suffice to say, it was a really rough morning. Things happened this morning that would make for a hilarious story with much laughter and shaking of the head at MB and her rather stupid decisions from time to time.
Unfortunately, this morning the events that took place only served to break me down into a pile of tears larger than anything that's come out of my eyes in the last six months. Let's just say that I'm alive and safe in my bed, trying to catch a quick nap before going to church this morning.
Maybe I'll catch you all up when I'm feeling a little more awake and rested.
Suffice to say, it was a really rough morning. Things happened this morning that would make for a hilarious story with much laughter and shaking of the head at MB and her rather stupid decisions from time to time.
Unfortunately, this morning the events that took place only served to break me down into a pile of tears larger than anything that's come out of my eyes in the last six months. Let's just say that I'm alive and safe in my bed, trying to catch a quick nap before going to church this morning.
Maybe I'll catch you all up when I'm feeling a little more awake and rested.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
A Gift for You
So I found this randomly tonight, and I thought I would share these gems with you.
These beautiful little charts come from the year 1939. Use them to assess the kind of spouse you would/will be/are. I have to say, just looking at them, I'm not optimistic about my score . . .
These beautiful little charts come from the year 1939. Use them to assess the kind of spouse you would/will be/are. I have to say, just looking at them, I'm not optimistic about my score . . .
So funny! What do you think? What about the red nail polish? It's the only color I wear on my nails! A demerit for that? That must mean I'm a hussy. And I can't remember the last time I dressed for breakfast. Oh well.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Night Terrors
Ugh. Long story short, my sleeping has the kind of regularity that's . . . NOT.
And my water intake has been poor to non-existent.
Both regular occurrences for me.
But, before we get into how much I am hurting my poor body (which, I'm very aware of because of the vomit-inducing cramps that I experienced this morning because dehydration increases "woman troubles." Oh. My. Lord. Did she just write that sentence? Yes she did, people. Now, either unfollow me or let's get to the point of this post), let's talk about what I'm really here to write about.
Dreams. Specifically, nightmares.
So, I have this recurring nightmare. We all have them. And we all know how they work. Usually, it's not the kind of situation that would require blood and guts and a scary soundtrack. Instead, it's nightmarish because it plays on our individual fears. Oh, and because it's so real in the dream that we usually wake up panting and in a cold sweat.
I had my nightmare again last night. The situation in each dream is always different, but the same thing happens. Last night, it was me talking to a group of friends in high school. We're chatting, and I'm talking to some faceless guy who I have a crush on in the dream. Suddenly, I feel something drop onto my tongue.
My tooth.
Yes. My nightmare is about my teeth falling out. Last night it happened with people. A lot of the time it happens in the bathroom while I'm standing over the sink and staring at myself in the mirror. The first tooth falls out. I look down in shock. The blood dribbles out of my mouth and down the sink in the swirling water along with the tooth (because of course, it wouldn't be a real nightmare if I could hold on to my teeth to get them put back in). Then the next tooth falls out. Then two more. Then all my top teeth just spill into the water and I'm looking at my bloody gums in the mirror and screaming.
I know! It's terrifying. And it's so real. I remember waking up this morning and thanking the Lord that I had cramps, because that's much better than losing my teeth. And the cramps made me puke!
That's serious, people.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Woman Victorious
OK, ladies. Moment of truth. You all better admit to this or else I'm going to do one of two things.
1) Know you're lying.
2) Cry.
Here it is. You're in a popular clothing store. Perhaps Gap. And you see a pair of shorts that you absolutely adore. Perhaps these. And you rush to the rack (have you noticed that we tend to do that, ladies? The store is empty and you are alone, but BY GOLLY when you see that dream item you are drawn to it as quickly as those scary kids magnets that snap together in a split second and threaten to take your fingertips with them).
So. You rush to the rack. You pore over the sizes . . . 0, 2 (yeah, right) . . . . 4, 6 (OK, getting closer) . . . 8 (just one more) . . . and . . . 12.
NOOOOOO! The skies pour and the thunder crashes as you cry out your despair to the heavens.
But since you're in public, you just sigh and say, "Darn."
But then . . . a soft light shines down on you and choirs of angels sing praises! You know what to do!
See, guys, if you're lost, let me walk you through the logic in a woman's brain.
A: She really, really likes these shorts.
B: These shorts are too small.
+ C: She's wanted to lose weight for awhile now.
___________________________________
D: She will buy these shorts, lose some weight, and THEN wear them!
GENIUS.
Only problem with this scenario is that most of us ladies don't end up losing the weight, never get to wear our cute shorts, and end up $30 poorer.
OK. So. Set up engaged. Now for the payoff.
I, like so many women, did this last summer. I was rummaging through my closet this morning, looking for something to wear. I saw my lovely, olive green, shorts, so new they still had the tag on them, and on a whim decided to try them on.
You know that feeling as you slip one leg into your pants and then another and you begin to gauge just how far they're willing to slip over your hips and you pray that those extra chips last night haven't attached themselves to your rear? And sometimes you have that glorious feeling of a pair of pants that are sliding on perfectly? So perfectly you can hardly believe it?
I began to have that feeling. And it kept happening. And before I knew it, the shorts were on, buttoned, and looking awesome.
It worked! The shorts I would have been forced to wear as a size 10 last summer now fit me as a size 8 this summer. Fabulous. So fabulous that I almost want to go get ice cream to celebrate.
But that would only ruin this perfect fit. Not to mention give me gas.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Grizzly Bear
Ok, so remember how I was going to find new music?
You know it's a problem when even Pandora can't find new music for you. I hear a new song come up and I get all excited to hear something fresh and unusual and . . . . I've heard this song or this artist before.
If I'm really fair, I don't think it's Pandora's fault that my music keeps going in circles. I actually think that Pandora is trying to send me secret messages that my musical tastes are so similar and restricted that even the Music-Genome Project can't find anything new for me.
Luckily, one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong, occasionally posts music on her blog, so this song really caught my eye (maybe ear, I mean?) when I watched the video about six months ago.
I've decided that Grizzly Bear will be my next station on Pandora.
Anyone have any suggestions for me?
Hello?
This thing on?
You know it's a problem when even Pandora can't find new music for you. I hear a new song come up and I get all excited to hear something fresh and unusual and . . . . I've heard this song or this artist before.
If I'm really fair, I don't think it's Pandora's fault that my music keeps going in circles. I actually think that Pandora is trying to send me secret messages that my musical tastes are so similar and restricted that even the Music-Genome Project can't find anything new for me.
Luckily, one of my favorite bloggers, Heather Armstrong, occasionally posts music on her blog, so this song really caught my eye (maybe ear, I mean?) when I watched the video about six months ago.
And this is a fan video, by the way, not the official video. If you want the official version, go here. And content of this fan video aside, I love the animation and the cleverness of it.
I've decided that Grizzly Bear will be my next station on Pandora.
Anyone have any suggestions for me?
Hello?
This thing on?
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
One Down, Four to Go
And my eighth graders have a plan for the school year!
I realized that my aspirations for classroom books might have been a little ambitious, so I decided on only two books for the school year along with the classroom book.
I am content with the classroom book, though it frustrates me at time to be so bound to it. I understand that many teachers across the country do the same thing, but I've always been in English programs that never once used a classroom text.
I have been encouraged through the planning process, though, for this planning makes me think in terms of multiple years. When I do this I feel like staying long enough to really shape a class and a tradition. We'll see what God has in store for me.
Now, on to my sophomores . . .
I realized that my aspirations for classroom books might have been a little ambitious, so I decided on only two books for the school year along with the classroom book.
I am content with the classroom book, though it frustrates me at time to be so bound to it. I understand that many teachers across the country do the same thing, but I've always been in English programs that never once used a classroom text.
I have been encouraged through the planning process, though, for this planning makes me think in terms of multiple years. When I do this I feel like staying long enough to really shape a class and a tradition. We'll see what God has in store for me.
Now, on to my sophomores . . .
My Music Tool
For some reason I have a hard time finding new music. I think it's because I'm one of those people who finds a favorite and then just really loves that favorite.
You know, like my thing with pad Thai. Oh I am positive that Thai places have excellent food. I've watched many other people eat numerous dishes, tried bites, and loved them. But . . . but . . . if I don't order pad Thai then I won't get to enjoy my favorite taste combinations. A hint of lime, peanut, soft chewy noodles, a warm spiciness that radiates through me . . .
OK. Enough of that. Go to your corner, pad Thai, and stop distracting me.
So when it comes to music, unless someone else introduces me to new things, I tend to not look for them. Until recently, that is.
I realized that soon I'll have to take on the mantle of the "cultured, big city" girl and that people will be expecting me to know all sorts of cool, artsy things. Well, I've got movies covered, but that's just because of my ridiculous obsession. See, if I could just team up with someone who is as obsessive about music as I am about movies then it would work very nicely.
And I'll have just come from seeing Inception, the movie I am most looking forward to this summer. Check out the link over on the right for the official site and the trailer. You might think, Wow, this chick should be attending Comic-Con and dressing up at Harry Potter movies with all her geekiness (and hey, your thoughts aren't too far off, for if it weren't for funds and me being a chicken, both would have happened already). But if you are intrigued, do yourself a favor and go see that movie!
Dangit. Movies. You sneakers. Stop trying to squeeze music out of the picture!
Anyway, Pandora has been helpful for me recently, so I thought I'd share some of what I come across as I listen. Today I'll share with you an artist I use to find other artists because I love her sound so much. Her name is Sara Bareilles. And yes, I will warn you, this is a piano-playing, slightly angsty, woman who sings about lost love and finding herself. And whose music usually makes other girls cry while they eat a pint of ice cream and over-identify with the sad, sad lyrics.
Stop judging, people! I reserve the right to like my stereotypical woman-music!
Here's a link to my current favorite of hers.
I hope you enjoy her stylings. If you like that sort of thing, that is.
You know, like my thing with pad Thai. Oh I am positive that Thai places have excellent food. I've watched many other people eat numerous dishes, tried bites, and loved them. But . . . but . . . if I don't order pad Thai then I won't get to enjoy my favorite taste combinations. A hint of lime, peanut, soft chewy noodles, a warm spiciness that radiates through me . . .
OK. Enough of that. Go to your corner, pad Thai, and stop distracting me.
So when it comes to music, unless someone else introduces me to new things, I tend to not look for them. Until recently, that is.
I realized that soon I'll have to take on the mantle of the "cultured, big city" girl and that people will be expecting me to know all sorts of cool, artsy things. Well, I've got movies covered, but that's just because of my ridiculous obsession. See, if I could just team up with someone who is as obsessive about music as I am about movies then it would work very nicely.And I'll have just come from seeing Inception, the movie I am most looking forward to this summer. Check out the link over on the right for the official site and the trailer. You might think, Wow, this chick should be attending Comic-Con and dressing up at Harry Potter movies with all her geekiness (and hey, your thoughts aren't too far off, for if it weren't for funds and me being a chicken, both would have happened already). But if you are intrigued, do yourself a favor and go see that movie!
Dangit. Movies. You sneakers. Stop trying to squeeze music out of the picture!
Anyway, Pandora has been helpful for me recently, so I thought I'd share some of what I come across as I listen. Today I'll share with you an artist I use to find other artists because I love her sound so much. Her name is Sara Bareilles. And yes, I will warn you, this is a piano-playing, slightly angsty, woman who sings about lost love and finding herself. And whose music usually makes other girls cry while they eat a pint of ice cream and over-identify with the sad, sad lyrics.Stop judging, people! I reserve the right to like my stereotypical woman-music!
Here's a link to my current favorite of hers.
I hope you enjoy her stylings. If you like that sort of thing, that is.
Emotional Boxer
I discovered something about myself today that really should have been obvious, but for some reason keeps eluding me. Either that, or I already know this fact about myself and still decide not to make changes based on my knowledge.
When someone asks me how I'm doing in the long process of letting my heart heal, my first action is to tell that person about the most recent development in my heart's difficult journey. By doing this, I'm accomplishing many things (not all of them noble, by the way), but by far the clearest thing I accomplish is a freshly angered and unsettled heart.
You know that sort of tight feeling in your chest and those crawling chills that radiate down your arms, up your neck and toward your navel? And that strange feeling you get in your jaw (usually right before you puke)? I'm not sure when these sensations happen for you, but for me they always happen right before an extremely pivotal moment in a relationship or before a really tough conversation. Those kind that have to happen but you stall every second leading up to it and then oh dear Lord help you, it's actually happening and you're in it and the words are starting to come out and you have to concentrate really hard to make sure nothing else comes out with the words?
Are you tracking with me? Because if you aren't then I'm really curious about what your body does to you in moments like that.
Anyway.
When I was recounting the events of last week to some friends my body started to react this way and my heart suddenly began to race and my palms began to sweat. I was getting angry and defensive.
Now, normally, this physical response happens just before an actual conversation or in the middle of a conversation that has just taken a difficult turn. It's almost like an emotional Fight or Flight response manifested physically.
So, what is my mind's response to this? Do I turn these tingly and uncomfortable sensations into a fight? Or do I take flight?
Fight! Fight! Fight! In my head right now I have an imaginary audience shouting that at me while I'm standing there in gigantic boxing gloves, a mouth guard, and really, really big shorts. It's a pretty funny picture.
So, I fight. Most of the time the "fight" has simply been to tackle the problem head on, talk about it endlessly (usually until someone is too physically exhausted to form coherent sentences), and get it resolved then and there. I like to get it out there and over with.
But recently, "fight" has actually meant literal fight. And I've also discovered something about myself.
I do not fight fair.
Actually, I can be pretty mean. Sadly.
And so, by rehashing recent events, the tinglies start, my jaw feels weird, I feel the urge to yell, and I start searching Facebook. And then I find what I'm looking for. And then, thank you Jesus, I don't carry through. I don't yell at him. I don't goad him. I don't manipulate him. I don't even talk to him.
Mostly because I shouldn't because hello to the pain.
But then a lot of my time is wasted. A LOT. And I'm not going to tell you how much because it's rather obscene.
And it's nice to feel sympathy from others. It's nice to have women who know the depths of my struggles. But it's really not nice that the entire thing turns me from a docile and slightly subdued woman into a terrifying harpy.
When someone asks me how I'm doing in the long process of letting my heart heal, my first action is to tell that person about the most recent development in my heart's difficult journey. By doing this, I'm accomplishing many things (not all of them noble, by the way), but by far the clearest thing I accomplish is a freshly angered and unsettled heart.
You know that sort of tight feeling in your chest and those crawling chills that radiate down your arms, up your neck and toward your navel? And that strange feeling you get in your jaw (usually right before you puke)? I'm not sure when these sensations happen for you, but for me they always happen right before an extremely pivotal moment in a relationship or before a really tough conversation. Those kind that have to happen but you stall every second leading up to it and then oh dear Lord help you, it's actually happening and you're in it and the words are starting to come out and you have to concentrate really hard to make sure nothing else comes out with the words?
Are you tracking with me? Because if you aren't then I'm really curious about what your body does to you in moments like that.
Anyway.
When I was recounting the events of last week to some friends my body started to react this way and my heart suddenly began to race and my palms began to sweat. I was getting angry and defensive.
Now, normally, this physical response happens just before an actual conversation or in the middle of a conversation that has just taken a difficult turn. It's almost like an emotional Fight or Flight response manifested physically.
So, what is my mind's response to this? Do I turn these tingly and uncomfortable sensations into a fight? Or do I take flight?
Fight! Fight! Fight! In my head right now I have an imaginary audience shouting that at me while I'm standing there in gigantic boxing gloves, a mouth guard, and really, really big shorts. It's a pretty funny picture.
So, I fight. Most of the time the "fight" has simply been to tackle the problem head on, talk about it endlessly (usually until someone is too physically exhausted to form coherent sentences), and get it resolved then and there. I like to get it out there and over with.
But recently, "fight" has actually meant literal fight. And I've also discovered something about myself.
I do not fight fair.
Actually, I can be pretty mean. Sadly.
And so, by rehashing recent events, the tinglies start, my jaw feels weird, I feel the urge to yell, and I start searching Facebook. And then I find what I'm looking for. And then, thank you Jesus, I don't carry through. I don't yell at him. I don't goad him. I don't manipulate him. I don't even talk to him.
Mostly because I shouldn't because hello to the pain.
But then a lot of my time is wasted. A LOT. And I'm not going to tell you how much because it's rather obscene.
And it's nice to feel sympathy from others. It's nice to have women who know the depths of my struggles. But it's really not nice that the entire thing turns me from a docile and slightly subdued woman into a terrifying harpy.
Me. As a harpy. Not cool.
Therefore, I need to stop recounting the situation for new people. I want people to know. But it's not fair, in the end. It's not fair to me. It's not fair to him. I know in my heart that he doesn't deserve that. Although the harpy in me screams that I need to slander his name, I know better.
'Cause harpies are dumb, y'all. Not to mention fictional.
So. I'm placing the situation in a box. And I'm placing that box in an even bigger box. And then I'm going to mail that box to myself. And then I'm going to SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!
Sorry, I couldn't help it! My fingers had a mind of their own and just wouldn't stop typing the previous sentence. Bonus points if someone knows what that's from. And if you guess it then you'll reveal just how deep my nerdiness truly runs.
But in all seriousness, time to put it away.
From now on I can just tell people that our breakup was . . . messy.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Obligatory Daily Post
I'm checking out my (potential) new house on Thursday. A few friends are going with me, and I am genuinely excited for that.
In other news, I am quite tired and the ink of my mind is dry. As evidenced by that terrible metaphor.
Hopefully I'll get my sleep schedule back in line with, you know, a normal person's, and then I'll be coherent enough to actually write something for you all about my day.
Oh, and a storm is coming in, so I'll enjoy falling asleep to the sound of pattering rain and (hopefully) lots of thunder rolls.
In other news, I am quite tired and the ink of my mind is dry. As evidenced by that terrible metaphor.
Hopefully I'll get my sleep schedule back in line with, you know, a normal person's, and then I'll be coherent enough to actually write something for you all about my day.
Oh, and a storm is coming in, so I'll enjoy falling asleep to the sound of pattering rain and (hopefully) lots of thunder rolls.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Encouragement, Excitement, and Er . . . Freedom?
Today was a good day. Ups and downs and side to sides. Okay, I don't even know what that means, but it seemed strange to leave "ups and downs" all by itself.
My mom went home just this morning. You know how sometimes your day is so full that what happened first in the day seems a week away by the end of the day? Like I've just lived today more than normal.
Which, frankly, is a nice feeling. The days have seemed to crawl by this last week.
This morning I had two great conversations from two wonderful ladies. My best friend from elementary school, S, and my best friend from high school, L. So, some people believe in coincidences. That's great for them, and I'm sure that they enjoy their lives that seem to fall into place willy nilly, but I don't. I mean, how have I been feeling lately? Pretty alone, huh?
And, duh, I'm not stupid. I know I'm not alone. I have lots of friends who would love to hang out with me. But sometimes in a state like this, it takes a friend or two to plunge a hand through the fog that perpetually hangs around you and wake you up. Sometimes that hand smacks you in the face, sometimes it just waves hello, and sometimes it just cups the side of your face and reassures you that everything will be OK.
And two friends with whom I do not speak regularly plunged a hand into my fog today. And they sort of woke me up. Not that they healed my heart. Far from it. But they helped me realize that I need to get out there. I am so grateful for both of them, especially L. It's a long story, but our friendship has only really revived in the last two years, and I used to beat myself up for driving away a dear friend because I "did something wrong." Turns out, the things I beat myself up over created a longer last, deeper friendship with L. It just took awhile to see it. I was so encouraged.
That motivated me to do something with my day. I talked to a lady in Ashland about her house, since I'll be buying a home instead of renting (at least, I'm about 80% sure that's what will happen).
Oh man, people. Can we all just hold our collective breath, cross our fingers and toes, and pray fervently that this house is as good as it sounds? Even when I imagine the house with all the reality I can shove into my ever-optimistic brain I keep coming up with the cutest place to live, ever. If it weren't for the fact that all this is, you know, OPEN on the internet, I'd post the address for you so you could look at it on Google maps and see the street view of this place.
The outside of the house is entirely built out of this reddish stone with cream stripes. Not a strip of siding, wood, or brick in sight. Two stories. Separate garage with a carport. Cute landscaping on the sides. A porch with a porch swing. Now, as some of you may know, houses these days are not built with adequate porches at all. Not this house. Oh no. This house has that full, cover-the-entire-front-of-the-house kind of porch. The one with the large posts on either side of the house, the ledges of stone, and the stairs leading up to the house.
I think my heart just skipped a beat. Didn't yours?
Hello? Are you tracking with me?
Anyway, inside the house are two bedrooms, one-and-a-half baths, a large living room, a great kitchen, a sort-of finished basement, and all the appliances I could want.
That's right. If you're still reading this then you've just realized the best part: I won't have to buy a single thing for the house. Washer. Dryer. Refrigerator. Stove. Microwave. Lawnmower. 100-year-old dining room table. Oh yeah, did you catch that? I could get furniture with it too!
Ok. I need to take a second to breathe. Pause. Calm down.
Maybe I'll visit this subject later. My head is on a one-way track to the clouds and if I don't stop it I won't be able to get it out for the rest of this post.
That's right. REST of this post. Maybe you should get a snack. Take a bathroom break.
Tonight I changed my mind about hanging out with some friends. I had originally said no. Mostly because I was not interested in the movie we were seeing, Prince of Persia. Then again, I saw it with my mother last night and it was fun. Cheesy. Not fantastic. But fun.
So, even though I saw it last night, I decided to head over to my friend MW's. It was so good to hang out with her and a few other friends. We enjoyed some tasty salad, burgers, Kool-Aid, brownies and ice cream, then headed over to the Warren Theatre for some movie action. We were joined by four other people and soon we had an entire cadre of people.
Can I admit something to you all? And it's even hard for me to say it, but I've resolved to be honest here, no matter what.
I was glad to be single this evening.
No worrying about sitting next to a guy. No wondering if I'm talking too much to any one person in particular and whether I should spread it out. The chance to chat with my single lady friends about this guy and that guy (and I promise it was not gossip). The freedom to hand out a smile here and there without worrying whether or not it would be taken as flirting.
And no. No fireworks. It's not like I met someone tonight and fell hard for him. But I had fun. I've had lots of fun. But it's been six-and-a-half years since I've had fun like that.
And yes. Driving home, alone, I still got a pang in my stomach. Not from guilt. Not from fear. Just from loneliness. From a habit built of years of grabbing my cell phone first thing when I'm on the car ride home. My immediate debrief at the end of the day with the man I'm sharing my life with.
But for an unknown stretch of time there will be no debriefs. No sharing. Just me, riding in the car, alone. Hopefully someday soon I will relish that time, but for now, I wish I could just go straight from fun and people to asleep in my bed.
And speaking of that (and if you're still reading you deserve a prize), I better head that way. Tomorrow is another busy day.
My mom went home just this morning. You know how sometimes your day is so full that what happened first in the day seems a week away by the end of the day? Like I've just lived today more than normal.
Which, frankly, is a nice feeling. The days have seemed to crawl by this last week.
This morning I had two great conversations from two wonderful ladies. My best friend from elementary school, S, and my best friend from high school, L. So, some people believe in coincidences. That's great for them, and I'm sure that they enjoy their lives that seem to fall into place willy nilly, but I don't. I mean, how have I been feeling lately? Pretty alone, huh?
And, duh, I'm not stupid. I know I'm not alone. I have lots of friends who would love to hang out with me. But sometimes in a state like this, it takes a friend or two to plunge a hand through the fog that perpetually hangs around you and wake you up. Sometimes that hand smacks you in the face, sometimes it just waves hello, and sometimes it just cups the side of your face and reassures you that everything will be OK.
And two friends with whom I do not speak regularly plunged a hand into my fog today. And they sort of woke me up. Not that they healed my heart. Far from it. But they helped me realize that I need to get out there. I am so grateful for both of them, especially L. It's a long story, but our friendship has only really revived in the last two years, and I used to beat myself up for driving away a dear friend because I "did something wrong." Turns out, the things I beat myself up over created a longer last, deeper friendship with L. It just took awhile to see it. I was so encouraged.
That motivated me to do something with my day. I talked to a lady in Ashland about her house, since I'll be buying a home instead of renting (at least, I'm about 80% sure that's what will happen).
Oh man, people. Can we all just hold our collective breath, cross our fingers and toes, and pray fervently that this house is as good as it sounds? Even when I imagine the house with all the reality I can shove into my ever-optimistic brain I keep coming up with the cutest place to live, ever. If it weren't for the fact that all this is, you know, OPEN on the internet, I'd post the address for you so you could look at it on Google maps and see the street view of this place.
The outside of the house is entirely built out of this reddish stone with cream stripes. Not a strip of siding, wood, or brick in sight. Two stories. Separate garage with a carport. Cute landscaping on the sides. A porch with a porch swing. Now, as some of you may know, houses these days are not built with adequate porches at all. Not this house. Oh no. This house has that full, cover-the-entire-front-of-the-house kind of porch. The one with the large posts on either side of the house, the ledges of stone, and the stairs leading up to the house.
I think my heart just skipped a beat. Didn't yours?
Hello? Are you tracking with me?
Anyway, inside the house are two bedrooms, one-and-a-half baths, a large living room, a great kitchen, a sort-of finished basement, and all the appliances I could want.
That's right. If you're still reading this then you've just realized the best part: I won't have to buy a single thing for the house. Washer. Dryer. Refrigerator. Stove. Microwave. Lawnmower. 100-year-old dining room table. Oh yeah, did you catch that? I could get furniture with it too!
Ok. I need to take a second to breathe. Pause. Calm down.
Maybe I'll visit this subject later. My head is on a one-way track to the clouds and if I don't stop it I won't be able to get it out for the rest of this post.
That's right. REST of this post. Maybe you should get a snack. Take a bathroom break.
Tonight I changed my mind about hanging out with some friends. I had originally said no. Mostly because I was not interested in the movie we were seeing, Prince of Persia. Then again, I saw it with my mother last night and it was fun. Cheesy. Not fantastic. But fun.
So, even though I saw it last night, I decided to head over to my friend MW's. It was so good to hang out with her and a few other friends. We enjoyed some tasty salad, burgers, Kool-Aid, brownies and ice cream, then headed over to the Warren Theatre for some movie action. We were joined by four other people and soon we had an entire cadre of people.
Can I admit something to you all? And it's even hard for me to say it, but I've resolved to be honest here, no matter what.
I was glad to be single this evening.
No worrying about sitting next to a guy. No wondering if I'm talking too much to any one person in particular and whether I should spread it out. The chance to chat with my single lady friends about this guy and that guy (and I promise it was not gossip). The freedom to hand out a smile here and there without worrying whether or not it would be taken as flirting.
And no. No fireworks. It's not like I met someone tonight and fell hard for him. But I had fun. I've had lots of fun. But it's been six-and-a-half years since I've had fun like that.
And yes. Driving home, alone, I still got a pang in my stomach. Not from guilt. Not from fear. Just from loneliness. From a habit built of years of grabbing my cell phone first thing when I'm on the car ride home. My immediate debrief at the end of the day with the man I'm sharing my life with.
But for an unknown stretch of time there will be no debriefs. No sharing. Just me, riding in the car, alone. Hopefully someday soon I will relish that time, but for now, I wish I could just go straight from fun and people to asleep in my bed.
And speaking of that (and if you're still reading you deserve a prize), I better head that way. Tomorrow is another busy day.
Friday, June 4, 2010
I drove with my mother today to visit Ashland. We met with my assistant principal, toured the town, caught up on the local news, and looked at some homes available to rent/buy.
I would love to regale you with a story about an amazing home that I saw that I am now in the process of buying. Sadly, that's not going to happen.
My father was worried about me buying a house because he thought the turnover in Ashland would be too slow.
Well, back up there. Turnover is fast. SUPER fast. We're talking DAYS for the good houses. So if I can actually GET a good house then it will turn over really quickly.
So. I'm probably going to be traveling to this town a few more times to look at houses and figure out how to get one. I'm just praying like crazy that a good one shows up.
And I went to Ashland thinking that maybe today, of all days, I would find some reason or rhyme about why I'm going to this town. I really did. And did I find anything? No.
What did I find?
More reasons to be nervous.
Like, kids who will get angry and really, REALLY nasty if they don't like me. Like the fact that I better not spend too much time indoors or outside of town, otherwise people will start to think bad things about me. Like I better be careful about my political choices and/or my selection of learning materials because of how conservative the town is.
And I KNOW that I will be a good teacher. And I KNOW that I'll be able to get in with the town. And I KNOW that I'll be able to come across well politically.
But I'm still nervous.
And I hope that I can make some friends.
I would love to regale you with a story about an amazing home that I saw that I am now in the process of buying. Sadly, that's not going to happen.
My father was worried about me buying a house because he thought the turnover in Ashland would be too slow.
Well, back up there. Turnover is fast. SUPER fast. We're talking DAYS for the good houses. So if I can actually GET a good house then it will turn over really quickly.
So. I'm probably going to be traveling to this town a few more times to look at houses and figure out how to get one. I'm just praying like crazy that a good one shows up.
And I went to Ashland thinking that maybe today, of all days, I would find some reason or rhyme about why I'm going to this town. I really did. And did I find anything? No.
What did I find?
More reasons to be nervous.
Like, kids who will get angry and really, REALLY nasty if they don't like me. Like the fact that I better not spend too much time indoors or outside of town, otherwise people will start to think bad things about me. Like I better be careful about my political choices and/or my selection of learning materials because of how conservative the town is.
And I KNOW that I will be a good teacher. And I KNOW that I'll be able to get in with the town. And I KNOW that I'll be able to come across well politically.
But I'm still nervous.
And I hope that I can make some friends.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
The Promised Pictures from the St. Louis Trip
Here are the pictures I promised. I'm very tired today, so it'll just be the pictures for you.
Here is the view from the bluff the winery sits on. I could have sat here for a long time.
The winery itself.
The first of a couple pictures of the arch and the stadium. I could not stop looking at the view! And I love baseball! what is wrong with me?
The sun was setting and this beautiful red strip appeared in the sky.
Mom and Dad finally glad their daughter is part of the family cult. Or so they think . . .
Look at the shine of the lights on the arch. When I saw this then I REALLY couldn't stop looking at it.
On the way out of the game. Thanks for providing such pretty pictures, Busch Stadium!
Leaving the States of Missouri and Denial
I don't even know where to start.
I went to St. Louis with my parents. We stopped at a winery/restaurant on the way there, and no, I did not partake of the fruit of the vine. :) I hadn't been in a long time, and it was very nice. I had asparagus risotto. Delicious in my stomach, and not a hint of asparagus-flavored urine.
Woah, did she just say urine? Unfollow! Unfollow!
Yes, folks. I did. Better get used to it. This girl does not shy away from such subjects and if you find your proper sensibilities offended, best steer away from this one.
Anyway, right about here is where some lovely photos of the Missouri river and the winery should go, but the computer I'm on in St. Louis absolutely refuses to read my camera's card. So you'll have to wait until tomorrow for them.
Then we visited my aunt and uncle, where I got to see one of my four cousins (yes, I only have four cousins TOTAL) and her two kids. They were darling. Sadly, the oldest child is four years old and this was the first time I had met him.
We really don't see each other much.
After that, we got to ride the St. Louis metro to Busch Stadium to see a Cardinals game. Riding the cars made me long for New York or London and their metros. If I could ride public transit everywhere I would be so happy. But, I will enjoy my life in the small town, because I'm pretty sure I can walk to every single location in the town itself.
The Cardinals game was good. I do love baseball, and I do enjoy watching it a lot. Especially in person. However, I just don't know if I'm a Cardinals fan.
Although, and my friend A will appreciate this, the Cardinals number 13 wore his socks correctly AND his last name was Ryan. Why is that significant? Oh, only my favorite college player is pretty much the exact same, except his first name is Ryan, not his last name.
Now I'm home and musing on things. A lot of things.
Things like pain. OK, a show of hands please. By reading the above, how many of you would guess that I'm in a lot of emotional pain? That I cry myself to sleep every night? That I never, ever smile unless someone is looking at me? That I yell at God and tell Him how angry I am at Him for the way He's chosen to lay out my life in the last two months?
Well, if I had to guess, probably none of you would be able to tell those things about me by reading the above.
But they're true.
And I find myself resenting someone who I feel should be hurting just as much as I am, but "apparently" is not.
Why isn't he hurting too? How can he laugh and smile? How can he make jokes and have fun with people?
And then, only just tonight, a light bulb goes on. Well, maybe multiple light bulbs.
If no one knows what's really going on with me, how can I honestly believe that he's not going through the same thing? If he tells me he's in pain, why do I scoff and not believe him and think he's only saying that off-handedly? If I'm concealing it well in person, well then he most likely is too. And doing it better than me because I wear my emotions on my sleeve and he most certainly does not.
AND maybe it's time that I stop wanting him to be in pain. Maybe it's time to really just let it go.
I'm going to move on someday. I truly believe that God has a man out in the world for me, and that this man is going to pursue me like mad, love me deeply, and provide for me.
And you know what? He's going to move on too. And I know it will hurt. But that's what happens when someone you loved for six years begins to love someone else. Who cares if you don't want to marry him? It's still going to hurt like hell. And he'll hurt in the same way when I move on.
And I have to tell myself that it's not a contest. If he moves on first then that doesn't cheapen what we had together. God will move me forward when it's time, and I don't need to force that time so that I can have a man in my life to dull the pain that will come when an old love finds a new love.
And wouldn't you know it? I know that what I'm writing is truth and I'm STILL crying as I write this.
This was terribly long and if you made it to the end you deserve a medal. I'll give you pictures tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Cowgirl food
Today was rough, mostly because I failed to go to sleep last night. Like, at all. So, needless to say, I did not feel at my best today.
However, the feelings expressed in my previous blog entry have mellowed out somewhat. They have not disappeared, and while I don't anticipate that happening in the near future, I am grateful to be in a somewhat more composed state of mind.
Today I helped my parents decide on a new comforter for their bedroom. We went to Macy's and looked at some items my mom had already checked out. As my mother was looking for the styles she has seen already, my eye was caught by, of all things, a bed in a bag.
Now, I think the "bed-in-a-bag" gets a bad wrap, but it's actually really convenient. And this one was beautiful. It combined my favorite colors of the moment: gunmetal grey and purple. Sigh. Bliss. My dad and I dutifully looked at the various bedspreads she was interested in, and the whole time I was waiting until I could go look at that comforter again. She said she had one more to show us and looked around for a minute or two. When she found it and motioned us over, which one do you think it was?
The one I loved! Good job, Mom! I saw it as a sign and immediately persuaded her to get it. She did. Here is a picture that does not do the beautiful spread justice. The lighter silver is a beautiful shine, like metal embroidery thread.
You see those accent pillows on the spread? They come with it! Genius! No sheets, but otherwise, what you see in this picture is what comes with the bag. I'm excited to design a room around it.
After that, since we were already in the posh new shopping center, Summit Fair, we decided to eat at a new sushi place there. I really liked it, and ended up having a sushi roll called a Golden Dragon. It was spicy crab meat with avocado and cream cheese, wrapped in tempura strips of banana, then topped with more tempura banana. Wow! To be honest, it was a little more sweet than I like my sushi, but it was exciting to try something new, and the wasabi around the plate helped spice it up. I decided that this was like the upscale sushi place in town, while our normal sushi place is more of the Mom 'n' Pop place with the "comfort" sushi.
By the way, in case any of you do not know, sushi is my absolute favorite food on this planet. And while I'm excited to move to a very small town, one thing that I know I will miss is sushi. That, and thai food, will become my standard when I visit the city. I will have pad thai for lunch and sushi for dinner, and my stomach will sing with happiness, and my taste-buds will melt for joy, and all will be right with the world again.
Anyway, I digress. Maybe someday I'll write an entire post about the beauty of sushi. But until that day . . .
I came home and showed my mother this amazing online tool to plan rooms. It's called the icovia Room Planner, and basically, you can plan out and design a room online for free. You can even change all the dimensions of the room, furniture, and accessories so that they perfectly match your exact space. It's saved me a lot of muscle work, for I can just plan it online until I find a furniture arrangement that works instead of manually placing each piece in multiple arrangements. We enjoyed ourselves.
I then spent the rest of the night looking up recipes. Talking to my parents earlier, I mused upon the fact that my grocery choices will be more simple in a smaller town, so figuring out what to do with the same ingredients all the time will behoove me greatly.
Like I have mentioned to multiple people, I am very inspired by The Pioneer Woman and her blog. Not only does she write great anecdotes that encourage me about moving to the country, she also creates some very country-friendly food by using staple ingredients. This particular sandwich is her husband's, whom she calls Marlboro Man, favorite. So simple. Onions, cube steak, and a toasted bun. And, of course, very, VERY bad for you! Can't wait to try this one out on my own and on any house guests I invite over in my new, small town. Maybe I can make some new friends through yummy, simple food.
This is the other confection that I was caught by. My good friend, A, and I both share a love for chocolate truffles covered in sea salt. Chocolate + salt = YUM.
Also, I could substitute caramel for it. Because caramel + salt = DOUBLE YUM. I absolutely love the chocolate caramel truffles with sea salt at this artisan chocolate maker, Cocoa Dolce.
This is a little less simple than that sandwich up there, so maybe I can lure people in with my simple, down-home cooking and then wow them with amazing, hand-made chocolate truffles. New friends, here I come!
Oh, and by the way, old friends, I'll make this for you too! But you have to promise to come visit me in my new digs.
And new digs might be obtained on Friday. Yikes!
However, the feelings expressed in my previous blog entry have mellowed out somewhat. They have not disappeared, and while I don't anticipate that happening in the near future, I am grateful to be in a somewhat more composed state of mind.
Today I helped my parents decide on a new comforter for their bedroom. We went to Macy's and looked at some items my mom had already checked out. As my mother was looking for the styles she has seen already, my eye was caught by, of all things, a bed in a bag.
Now, I think the "bed-in-a-bag" gets a bad wrap, but it's actually really convenient. And this one was beautiful. It combined my favorite colors of the moment: gunmetal grey and purple. Sigh. Bliss. My dad and I dutifully looked at the various bedspreads she was interested in, and the whole time I was waiting until I could go look at that comforter again. She said she had one more to show us and looked around for a minute or two. When she found it and motioned us over, which one do you think it was?The one I loved! Good job, Mom! I saw it as a sign and immediately persuaded her to get it. She did. Here is a picture that does not do the beautiful spread justice. The lighter silver is a beautiful shine, like metal embroidery thread.
You see those accent pillows on the spread? They come with it! Genius! No sheets, but otherwise, what you see in this picture is what comes with the bag. I'm excited to design a room around it.
After that, since we were already in the posh new shopping center, Summit Fair, we decided to eat at a new sushi place there. I really liked it, and ended up having a sushi roll called a Golden Dragon. It was spicy crab meat with avocado and cream cheese, wrapped in tempura strips of banana, then topped with more tempura banana. Wow! To be honest, it was a little more sweet than I like my sushi, but it was exciting to try something new, and the wasabi around the plate helped spice it up. I decided that this was like the upscale sushi place in town, while our normal sushi place is more of the Mom 'n' Pop place with the "comfort" sushi.
By the way, in case any of you do not know, sushi is my absolute favorite food on this planet. And while I'm excited to move to a very small town, one thing that I know I will miss is sushi. That, and thai food, will become my standard when I visit the city. I will have pad thai for lunch and sushi for dinner, and my stomach will sing with happiness, and my taste-buds will melt for joy, and all will be right with the world again.
Anyway, I digress. Maybe someday I'll write an entire post about the beauty of sushi. But until that day . . .
I came home and showed my mother this amazing online tool to plan rooms. It's called the icovia Room Planner, and basically, you can plan out and design a room online for free. You can even change all the dimensions of the room, furniture, and accessories so that they perfectly match your exact space. It's saved me a lot of muscle work, for I can just plan it online until I find a furniture arrangement that works instead of manually placing each piece in multiple arrangements. We enjoyed ourselves.
Like I have mentioned to multiple people, I am very inspired by The Pioneer Woman and her blog. Not only does she write great anecdotes that encourage me about moving to the country, she also creates some very country-friendly food by using staple ingredients. This particular sandwich is her husband's, whom she calls Marlboro Man, favorite. So simple. Onions, cube steak, and a toasted bun. And, of course, very, VERY bad for you! Can't wait to try this one out on my own and on any house guests I invite over in my new, small town. Maybe I can make some new friends through yummy, simple food.
Also, I could substitute caramel for it. Because caramel + salt = DOUBLE YUM. I absolutely love the chocolate caramel truffles with sea salt at this artisan chocolate maker, Cocoa Dolce.
This is a little less simple than that sandwich up there, so maybe I can lure people in with my simple, down-home cooking and then wow them with amazing, hand-made chocolate truffles. New friends, here I come!
Oh, and by the way, old friends, I'll make this for you too! But you have to promise to come visit me in my new digs.
And new digs might be obtained on Friday. Yikes!
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