Here are some photos of the recent bathroom remodel, which is not finished yet. Also, the pictures are not retouched at all. Frankly, I don't have the energy to Photoshop them at the moment.
There you go folks. That's where my bathroom is now. I still need a beautiful shower curtain to complete the look, as well as a full set of fluffy, white towels. I won't accept anything else!
And to close, here's a rare picture of me, taken this evening in my new football hoodie. It's currently my favorite thing to wear. Bring on the cold weather! I want to live in this thing!
I wrote this post awhile before I had a blog. I looked it up this evening and wanted to share it with those of you who follow along here. I still believe in this above all things.
So, my friend Rich spent one evening pretending to be Barbara Walters at a recent gathering, and I was his subject. He asked me many thought provoking questions, one of which was very difficult to answer and which I've been pondering for the last week or so. His question was this: "What would you say you believe in above all other things, besides the existence of God, sovereignty of Christ, etc.?" My answer: "Wow, um, let me think . . . [about 60 seconds elapse]. Well, I'd have to say that I believe in the pursuit of truth above all else." His response: "Ok. Why the pursuit of truth rather than just truth?" My response: "Erm, well, truth is constant, right? But culture is always changing and we change with our culture. And we have to constantly be looking for truth because we're changing too, you know?" And that was probably the least-best way I could have described it! I've been pondering it a lot and I think I've come up with a word picture to describe what I mean. I love using pictures and images to describe what concept I'm trying to convey, and hopefully this describes why I believe that I as a Christian must always PURSUE Truth rather than trying to just STAND in Truth. And please forgive me if the metaphor falls apart when you get really literal. It is merely an illustration to convey the concept! . Truth is the rock in the surf. Unchanging in the face of the crashing waves. I am but a DROP of water. I KNOW the rock is truth, but without pursuit of that rock I am swept along by the waves of culture. I am human, fallen, and fickle. A bride prone to adultery against my true Bridegroom. And Christ forgive me. I might occasionally crash against the Rock of Truth and alight on its surface for a time, but Truth is not a soft, sweet cradle. It is a jagged, beautiful and shining surface, which I will eventually slide off of when I don't continually cling to it. I will slide off and back into the swirling waters. I must always strike out for Truth, climb Truth, establish new footholds and handholds because my own human nature pulls me away. . Hopefully that helps. It helped me!
Yes, I know. It's been awhile since I've written anything here. In fact, it's been an entire week. And for me, that's quite awhile.
To be honest, I've simply been a little lazy with it. Yes, I'm currently very busy, and yes, this weekend I was painting my bathroom the entire time, but I don't feel those are adequate excuses! I should be writing here and keeping up my skills.
Also, it's hard to write when I don't feel like I have much to write about.
But I will tell/admit to you:
I'm a little lonely.
Look, I know I'm out here for a reason. I was meant to be here at this time and this place. And it's a wonderful place to be. I love my students more than I ever thought possible. I love my job more than I thought possible. I have incredible co-workers and an amazingly supportive boss.
But I honestly am lonely.
It's tough to find your identity in a community where you're an oddity.
A single, childless, fresh-out-of-school, professional young woman? Yikes. Good luck with finding a peer group for that.
I love that one of the very first things that was ever said to me when I visited was, "There are no men here for you."
Let me tell you, that was great.
Not that I'm looking. Not that I need or want another relationship right now. I believe I'm being asked to be single. But somehow just the possibility that someone's close by can ease anxieties and make singleness easier.
With a dearth of eligible bachelors and no end in sight, it can make current singleness oppressive, for I see it stretching into endless singleness.
Does that make any sense?
You know, sometimes I want to rip out my biological clock and smash it. With a HAMMER.
Dear Biological Clock,
Stop reminding me that you exist. I am fully aware that some of my friends are on their second child already, and they're my age. I understand that wanting to wait a few years after getting married before having children probably puts me in the 30 and over category for having a first child. Please give me a break.
MB
P.S. Body, while you're at it, would you give my hormones a talking-to? Because they need a serious time out.
Multiple thoughts are rushing around in my head tonight.
Usually my blog tends toward the lighter, more joke-centered side. I mean, I'm interested in writing funny things, so might as well practice here, right?
Sometimes it's hard to find things to joke about.
I've been thinking about teaching. And my students. And how much I really love both. And how the fact that I truly love all the kids at the high school can be difficult since 1) I'm not that much older than them, and 2) and perhaps most importantly, I don't feel that much older than them.
I'm only twelve years older than my youngest student, which means that the large majority of pop culture references they make go right into my head rather than over it. I definitely feel older than them, both in maturity and interests, but the lines start to blur with my older students, especially my oldest students.
I keep telling all my friends that God took the world's perfect student and cloned it 11 times and put them in one of my classes. And that's my class. Eleven of the most perfect students ever. Sure, sometimes they do dumb things (like nearly kill each other for a Nerf ball) or grumble through homework, but doesn't every student? Didn't I do that for a lot of my own English classes even though they were my favorite? Those things don't lessen my students. What makes them amazing is the fact that they care, they're grateful to be learning, and they aren't afraid to ask questions. Shoot, sometimes they stump me with their questions. I love that! What smart kids.
Here's the problem. I'm a teacher because I think teenagers are awesome. Somehow they move from little punks into being responsible and thoughtful individuals. And as a high school teacher I get to see that. I get to part of it.
But I also think my friends are awesome. But my students aren't (read: can't be) my friends. It breaks my heart to think about it, but I've witnessed one of my friends blur the line between student and friend and it cost him his job, his family's trust, his law record and his entire career.
I mean, look, I'm on my A-game, OK? And I'm not my friend. And his actions stemmed from a prolonged period of unchecked motivations. But it all began with a love for his students and a desire to be friends. And in some of my students I see friendship potential.
This is where I'm grateful for my father. A vet of teaching high school for over 30 years, he always kept his students at bay . . . until they graduated. The second they walked that stage then the relationship was different. They could call him by his first name and no longer had to worry about school rules. He was known for it. Students waited for four years until they could finally call him "Ben." Sure, they would giggle and feel weird at first, but they cherished that. And he's developed some real friendships with former students because of it.
So I've decided to adopt that for myself as a teacher. Once those students walk across that floor, no more Miss M. We can be friends.
I figure if I take my father's example then there will at least be a few students who will take me up on that. Until then, I'll be their wise, older cousin who can give them quite a few tips about literature.
I have these amazing zucchini sitting on my counter in my kitchen right now. I just wanted to document how incredibly huge these things are before I shred them up and freeze them.
I mean, seriously. Check these suckers out. They are over 15 inches tall! Holy schmoly. It'll have me up to my ears in zucchini bread supplies.
And I can't wait! Maybe this time I can make zucchini bread with real zucchini instead of cucumber.
Despite the fact that I am a self-professed nerd, I haven't actually seen any of the Star Trek films except for The Undiscovered Country and the newer Star Trek.
This might be a shocker to you until you remember that I veered off in the direction of all things Star Wars.
This means despite the fact that I grew up on a diet of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek-themed murder mysteries being held at my home (complete with my parents in full regalia and face putty), and purchasing Data Christmas ornaments for my mother, I somehow ended up on the other side of the tracks.
All of this to say that I'm now working my way gradually through the many Star Trek movies.
Last night I began with Star Trek: The Movie. This is an oft-criticized film, mostly for its slow pace and lack of action. I now have to admit something, and it's going to place me in a difficult position as a nerd.
Not sure why?
Here, I'll give you a reference.
The position I will now find myself in is very similar to the position in which I would place someone who spoke of The Phantom Menace and said that it was "Not that bad." Those three words would spark a violent reaction in myself, accompanied by many vocal protestations and lashing out physically. Those are dangerous words to utter to she who aligns herself with the Wars.
So, without further ado, time to place myself into a difficult position.
And I defend myself because I found 2001: A Space Odyssey very good and I happen to like slow and plodding movies.
I was going to make a very nice, long post, full of pictures, text, videos, and links. I was going to include all of the music that's been making my life fun lately. I was going to do a lot of things in this post.
That is, until a rogue finger of mine accidentally deleted all of the hard word I'd done. About thirty minutes of compiling, to be honest. It was rather annoying, and let's say a few choice words almost slipped out of my mouth.
Now, instead of a sophisticated and thoughtful post, I'm simply going to leave you with a list of songs, some as links and some embedded as videos. Please enjoy.
1. "The Cave" by Mumford and Sons
I don't have time to give you the lyrics again, sadly, but seriously, they have helped me. A great song for someone alone who needs to find his/her identity after a long time of being without it. That's me.
Also working for this particular song is the fact that it's a cover of a Hall and Oats classic. Either way, it screams sexy to me. Love it. It's also fair here to give you another song by The Bird and the Bee that's been helping me out lately, so here you go. This one's called "How Deep Is Your Love" and it's also a cover. This time it's the Bee Gees.
3. "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" by Daft Punk
This song is super fun. As is this video. It makes me want to dance. And I enjoy the lyrics as well. At least, what there is of them.
A ridiculously heartbreakingly honest song. The lyrics are happy, but the song sounds sad, adding a dimension which I simply cannot get out of my head. The song also happens to be from the Twilight: Eclipse soundtrack, which is fine. I happen to like the soundtrack, if not the movie. Here are some others from the soundtrack that I enjoy:
This is actually the opening credits for a show called Big Love but the official video can be found here. I love the sound of this song, and I'll admit, paired with these opening credits it seems poignant and heartbreaking. That's a word I seem to be using a lot lately.
I really enjoy this song. It feels otherworldly to me. As if I'm sitting in an old Truffaut movie. In fact, I believe that the song actually references the fact that the woman in it reads pretentious novels by French authors. How fitting. Either way, I want to be that pretentious woman. I think I'm on my way, considering the fact that I just dropped the name Truffaut into a blog post and I doubt that much of my readership will know (or care) who he is.
7. "Two Weeks" by Grizzly Bear
The official video is here, and it's a doozy. But I happen to like the video I posted above. It's cute, quirky, and a little subversive. Not that subversive is super great, but you know. Gotta do it sometimes.
The hook on this song is sick, seriously. I cannot stop myself from moving when I hear this.
10. "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles
You owe it to yourself to take a listen to this woman. If you are female in any respect, you will be moved by her lyrics and her performance. It speaks to my heart because of her honesty and the, say is with me, heartbreaking nature of the song.
Well, you got more than I anticipated you would. You lucky people.
I'm going to go to bed to one of these songs. Chances are it's not Missy Elliot.
