1) Know you're lying.
2) Cry.
Here it is. You're in a popular clothing store. Perhaps Gap. And you see a pair of shorts that you absolutely adore. Perhaps these. And you rush to the rack (have you noticed that we tend to do that, ladies? The store is empty and you are alone, but BY GOLLY when you see that dream item you are drawn to it as quickly as those scary kids magnets that snap together in a split second and threaten to take your fingertips with them).
So. You rush to the rack. You pore over the sizes . . . 0, 2 (yeah, right) . . . . 4, 6 (OK, getting closer) . . . 8 (just one more) . . . and . . . 12.
NOOOOOO! The skies pour and the thunder crashes as you cry out your despair to the heavens.
But since you're in public, you just sigh and say, "Darn."
But then . . . a soft light shines down on you and choirs of angels sing praises! You know what to do!
See, guys, if you're lost, let me walk you through the logic in a woman's brain.
A: She really, really likes these shorts.
B: These shorts are too small.
+ C: She's wanted to lose weight for awhile now.
___________________________________
D: She will buy these shorts, lose some weight, and THEN wear them!
GENIUS.
Only problem with this scenario is that most of us ladies don't end up losing the weight, never get to wear our cute shorts, and end up $30 poorer.
OK. So. Set up engaged. Now for the payoff.
I, like so many women, did this last summer. I was rummaging through my closet this morning, looking for something to wear. I saw my lovely, olive green, shorts, so new they still had the tag on them, and on a whim decided to try them on.
You know that feeling as you slip one leg into your pants and then another and you begin to gauge just how far they're willing to slip over your hips and you pray that those extra chips last night haven't attached themselves to your rear? And sometimes you have that glorious feeling of a pair of pants that are sliding on perfectly? So perfectly you can hardly believe it?
I began to have that feeling. And it kept happening. And before I knew it, the shorts were on, buttoned, and looking awesome.
It worked! The shorts I would have been forced to wear as a size 10 last summer now fit me as a size 8 this summer. Fabulous. So fabulous that I almost want to go get ice cream to celebrate.
But that would only ruin this perfect fit. Not to mention give me gas.
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